The Elusive Y
by Irken PopTart
Summary: A single night begins the end of Nittle Grasper. AU Tohma x Ryuichi
1. Prolouge

WARNING: This is a severe AU of pure Crack, for reasons you will soon see. 

ADDITIONAL WARNING: For anyone who has been reading the 'Dragon Eyes' or 'Lipstick' series! This has -NOTHING- do do with that particular fanverse. It is to be enjoyed solely on it's own, to clarify for any confusion which may arise.

-

-

The show had been exceptional.

Everything they could have wanted, the lights, the powerful sound, the beat coursing through their veins and fanning the fire that burned so brightly within each of them, calling it out again to shine for all to see. Even after all these years- after all the trials, they were still Nittle Grasper. They still had it.

And by the gods, they'd given the audience more than it could handle.

The first night of a dual tour, Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck- set to tour the country together. Sharing stage, sharing band members, doing covers of one another's songs, it was madness.  
And it had the public eating out of their hands.

Not Ryuichi or Shuichi, had ever been so bright, so expressive in their performances as they had this night, and every one of them knew it would be splayed across the papers for weeks, even as further performances were given.

So now was the time for celebration- Bad Luck, Grasper, and companions alike, all having taken over this small bar in Osaka, toasting themselves, drinking to life, to music, to sex, to future hangovers, to love, to that painting over there on the far wall, Sakano's new tie- it hardly mattered anymore, and everyone was quite content to simply waste the evening away getting themselves good and piss drunk.

The weariness had yet to set in, adrenaline keeping the performers in good spirits- a natural high that only added to the alcohol. The singers hadn't even bothered to change from costume- having simply headed straight for the party, intent on being the very ones to start it. Apparently, the other musicians had a little more sanity, and found themselves lounging about in less flamboyant wear- letting their bodies cool down, even as the drinks warmed them.

Nakano was sprawled out across the lap of his new girlfriend, who had decided to accompany them for the tour- No one really minded, after all, having Yoshiki around meant everyone would be presented with full breakfasts in the morning from whatever shop she'd scurried off to get it from.

Noriko was on the phone, chattering to her husband and little girl, while Suguru sat quietly nursing his drink- unable to hide his wide smile- or the long looks he kept directing at Tatsuha. Even Eiri looked like he was having a good time- though this could mostly be equated to Shuichi giving him a impromptu lap dance. 

Sakano looked worn, but happy, K was laughing just a little too loud, chattering away with the select group of fans who had won the privilege of attending the after-party- who didn't seem to mind too much that they were being ignored...

Even Tohma seemed to be enjoying himself- as he and Ryuichi had quite suddenly decided the floor was suited to be danced on- and with whatever inane sound the bar was playing drowned out by the music in their heads- had taken to it whole-heartedly, bodies moving together in a display that certainly captured the attention of anyone who cared to look. Like old times, no worries, no dark secrets- just Grasper, just them. 

And that was when Ryuichi started to talk to him, whispering and watching with those severe blue eyes of his- when they looked around, deciding quickly they would hardly be missed. So escape was quickly planned upon, and jackets retrieved, and exit hastily made.

Laughter was in his ear, as they stumbled from the bar, Ryuichi tugging him along by his forearm, calling back one thing or another, and he could hardly tell if he was replying or not- but knew that by the time the two got back to the hotel, the both of them were snickering like a pair of teenagers up to no good.

He found himself leaning against the elevator, still infected with a severe case of the giggles, as he waited for Ryuichi to return from the counter- something about the key- maybe he'd forgotten it- and Tohma didn't think to check his pockets for his copy- If Ryuichi wanted to go get another one- it was all well and fine.

The singer found it apt to dance back to his band-mate, pulling Tohma from the wall and spinning him around in a silly display before dipping him down until his bangs nearly brushed the floor. Tohma laughed aloud as the world became right again, leaning into Ryuichi as they fell back into the open elevator.

Ryuichi was still laughing, and he was everywhere- the cool walls of the elevator providing a shocking contrast to the scouring heat of his body. A little voice in the back of his head was happily informing him he had reached the borderline of dangerously trashed- and crossed it with a screaming war cry.

They were against the door again, this one outside of the hotel room, or at any point- -a- hotel room. Tohma's scattered thoughts questioned if this was even the right floor, and the little mocking voice reminded him this was also not the number for the bands room- perhaps he should let his good friend know this... An honest mistake after all, considering the amount of shots the two had shared.

But he had no need to distract the singer from the pleasant things he was currently doing to his neck and shoulder- things he was sure he would never allow under any other circumstance, as Ryuichi slid the card through the lock, and the door opened without effort. Sneaky little Sakuma- the soft voice in the back of his head remarked, buying another room for them- and once again they were stumbling, door shut behind them.  
Falling back onto a bed less lavish than the one in the suite upstairs- Smart enough to choose a less suspicious room at that! So sneaky, so very, very sneaky- like that hand that was going places it really shouldn't, grasping at hips, moving up to push a jacket away and expose milky shoulders.

The noise was still screaming through him- Ryuichi was humming into his mouth, and he swore he could feel his fingers playing out the notes for the same song across the singer's back. And for all the world he couldn't recall when Ryuichi had lost his jacket- or that matter, his shirt. All he could think about was how very sweet he tasted, candy and chocolate cola- some dangerous mix of sugar and sex, overwhelming his senses.

Hands were still wandering, body pressed deliciously against his own as he squirmed against the touch, dazedly obeying the small voices command to not let the singer's hands any higher- or any lower. At least for a little while longer...

Then the voice was pushed aside, and the flimsy violet fabric of his shirt was eased slowly up, until one of those hands was groping at his chest, and suddenly for all the world he simply didn't care. Fingers trailed up, digging into auburn hair, as that talented mouth worked it's way down his jaw over his neck, and down to the hollow of pale throat.

Ryuichi was still humming, and by now, Tohma had joined him, voices melding together into a song far too strong for words, consuming them both and tearing apart any chance for second thoughts.

They were two angels, fighting to find heaven in one another, spiraling down into hell together, a tangle of lips, limbs, skin and wings, falling so they might at last be saved.

Those fingers cast searing heat, playing across taught stomach, teasing the hem of leather that rested just low enough to keep modesty- trailing upwards, and back down again, calling out more sounds, bringing the music up to a crescendo- His own hands worked over neck, back and shoulders, as if playing across an ethereal keyboard, only to fly back up to grasp tightly at the singer's hair as such a wandering hand found it's mark.

Head flying back in a cry that would do any vocalist proud, Tohma found himself enveloped in darkness, mind struck away with only the thought of his singer's sweet taste left to him.

-

Awareness was slow in coming, limbs wearily protesting to any sort of movement, as the body which owned them rolled away from the warm arms with a low groan. Thoughts came foggy through the onset of a hangover laid upon by the devils themselves. 

What the hell had he been drinking last night? For that matter, this didn't feel at all like his bed- and... there were a few too many arms accounted for to have been alone. Trying to sit up with a start, eyes flying open only brought on the bright flash of light, and a variable jack hammer to his head.

Collapsing back into the mattress with a hiss, the foreign arms wrapped around once again, and pain was overshadowed by the cold sting of fear. Fingers were playing gently up and down bare shoulder...For the love of the gods, where were his clothes!

The lips brushed across his ear, and the cold feeling grew stronger as fingers started to play through wisps of blonde hair. A melodic hum filled the air, soothing despite it's agonizing volume. Don't open your eyes. Don't open your eyes-thought as Tohma turned slowly around, facing Ryuichi once again.

Tears were beginning to well at their corners. Foggy memories called themselves up to his mind. Do not. Open your eyes. If you never open your eyes, it can't be real. You won't be facing him- looking at him... You won't have to meet the debasement of every lie you've ever told him, told anyone, told yourself.

"Tohma...?"

They were trailing down pale cheeks now, refusing to follow the vows made to never be shed... Gentle hands cupped his face, and as the tears were brushed away, he found himself unable to listen, feeling lost and vulnerable for the first time since he began his life this way. This feeling, he couldn't stand it, had worked so very hard to eliminate it from the world in which he lived.

Build walls to keep them out. Layers around secrets, a perfectly crafted existence. How -dare- he. How dare Ryuichi tear down the walls, peel away every layer and leave him exposed this way, how dare he destroy everything Tohma had made for himself... -Himself-.

Anger swelled, fueled by all the pain and confusion. This was Ryuichi's fault. It was. Never once had guard been so abandoned. It had to be the vocalist. Pretty blue eyes, passing over another drink- 'This one's sweet, Tohma- You'll like it!'.

"Tohma."

A statement, to which green eyes snapped open, narrowing themselves angrily at the blue in front of them. Ryuichi had the nerve to smile pleasantly, brushing bangs away as he spoke softly.

"Tohma, You do know you're a girl... Don't you?"

As casually as if he were asking about the weather, like it was no matter to either of them- this sort of thing happened daily with someone like Sakuma Ryuichi didn't it? Pulling back from that smile, those same green eyes caught alight, and the coverlet was drawn up to her chin, away from Ryuichi, who moved to follow as she sat up...Bangs covering eyes once again as they stared down fixedly.

"Tohma-chan, -"

Whatever he was going to say, it was cut off abruptly when Seguchi Tohma snapped her head up again, and slapped him clear across the face.

-

-  
Authors Notes-

So now it's likely you're sitting at your computers and gaping like a large sea bass. So why, -why- do something like this?

Simple enough- this started out with a conversation with my muse about Tohma being pretty. It escalated into a commentary on how Gravi-fic has -everything-. Except the 'So and so is really a' angle. At least that I've seen. So with that, the night went on in silly theories and notions about how it would work. And everything just came together. 

Sit back and enjoy ladies and gentleman because this is only the beginning, and you're all in for one hell of a ride.


	2. Once upon a darkest night

Authors Note: - For those of you who remain- I give to you, the beginning of the end. 

-----

It was easy enough to say that Sakuma Ryuichi was suffering from a mild state of shock.

For all he could do, was stare open-mouthed as Tohma collected the clothes that had been scattered about the room in what had honestly been an amazing night of drunken love making. Really, she had no reason to be complaining that Ryuichi could think of.

She most certainly didn't complain then.

His hand lingered over the stinging mark across his cheek, barely managing to dodge as his own things were aimed to slam him squarely in the face. Luckily- or perhaps not so much so- the tears affected the irate woman's aim, and the mass of heavy leather simply collided with his chest.

She had one hell of an arm though.

"Tohma, would you just stop for a minute and-"

The door to the room slammed as effectively as any hotel door ever could, cutting his sentence short as Tohma, now fully dressed, left in fury and tears. He still didn't get it- It wasn't as if he'd gone around screaming curses, or said anything negative about her! Or even as if he'd been rude. No, he had been quite set and ready to order room service for the both of them, as soon as he found out what his new lover wanted.

Then she had to go and break into hysterics.

Women were funny like that. 

Actually, now that he considered it- and it had briefly occurred to him the night before, though he really hadn't taken the time to dwell on it, busy as he was- quite a few things about Tohma made a lot more sense.

Of course he got the idea it wasn't something that needed to be shouted across mountain tops- and sure- it hadn't been what he was expecting, but that wasn't to say he was disappointed, no sir. The only regret he had was not making this discovery a little sooner.

It had to be difficult to keep such a secret like that, and have no-one to share it with... But here they were, him offering a shoulder to cry on, maybe the occasional good fuck- and Tohma was acting as if he'd done her some great injustice.

And people thought -he- was difficult.

Finally just giving the door an exhausted look, Ryuichi fell back down into the bed, muttering something about emotional keyboardists. It was too early to deal with crazy girl-logic. And soon enough, he would be dragging himself out of bed at a more reasonable hour, something around noon- showered, dressed, and headed out to play damage control.

--

As expected, he found almost the entire tour-bus- complete with a few of the roadies- in a state of panic over the disappearance of two famous J-rock stars. For a short time, he was content to watch them scurry around like ants across a destroyed hill, frantically shouting into phones, before Shuichi walked past him in all his pajama-clad 'I get up when the sun is centered- or going down' glory, mumbling an absent minded "Hello, Sakuma-san."

It was funny to see how everything stopped at this moment dozens of sets of eyes falling directly on him, while Shuichi just continued his trek into the suite's kitchenette, and he leaned casually back against the door as if he were supposed to be there. As if he hadn't dropped off the face of the earth for nearly ten hours, with no word or warning.

He smiled cheerfully, waving two fingers in a sort of salute, before being set upon by K- and his shiny magnum- and Sakano, neurotic as ever- looking as if he hadn't gotten two seconds of sleep. While K was busy issuing threats, and pressing that delightfully shiny gun against his temple, Ryuichi concentrated on his own Manager, who seemed terrified.

And when Sakano was terrified, Ryuichi liked to count how quickly it took for his voice to rise to a mind-numbing pitch before dropping back down and starting over again.

"Sakuma-san! Sakuma-san, where on earth have you been? Shachou- have you seen him? We can't seem to-"

He held up a hand gaining silence from both men, as well as the already expectant looks from the gathered crowd. "Tohma's fine. He just needs some time to think, that's all." Sakano's frantic expression fell away replaced with a frown, and a suspicious light to his eyes.

Ryuichi put on his most dazzling smile, all sunshine and sparkles while he heighten the pitch in his own voice. "We just got a little drunk and silly last night- don't worry Manager-san, he'll be back when he wants to be -no da!" 

Sakano wasn't fooled in the least bit. If possible, his look became darker at the forced annotation tacked onto his exclamation. Ryuichi refused to meet his eyes as he pressed past the hoard of crew, to discover what it was Shuichi was currently shoveling into his mouth.

Whatever it was, it was bound to bring him close to sugar shock, and that sounded like a damn fine idea to him.

Besides, Shindou was so fun to mess with when Hiro or Yuki had not yet brought him to the realization that he was in the world of the living, and no longer a neon lighted world of post-waking.

So he was content to sit with his carbon copy, consuming this substance that was hardly passable for a typical lunch- or breakfast for that matter. It obviously wasn't one of Yoshiki's acquisitions.

Plus, Shuichi wouldn't sit there and try to mindlessly wheedle information out of him. He understood well enough that Ryuichi said Tohma would return, and that was just the end of it. It wasn't any of his business.

Nor, despite his dedication, was it Sakano's.

Though he of all people should have understood that Tohma was a capable person. And would return once whatever was needed had been done. He wasn't worried in the least bit and so, was content to spend this last day in Osaka lounging about letting the rest of them go into fits while everyone but the performers themselves got ready for the move onward. .

Of course they had all been worried, but the bands themselves were rather amused with the situation, how it had set the men in charge into fits, and joked that in the next city, Fujisaki and Shindou should disappear for a few hours after the show- if only long enough to start a fuss.

This later developed into a devious scheme, wherein it was decided that each new stop, some performer would simply up and vanish. After Shuichi and Fujisaki- it would be Hiro and Yoshiki- just to eliminate suspicion of the plot, by reasoning that the lovers would have an 'excuse' to disappear.

They'd continue it just until the managers were at their breaking point. No use in wasting what would prove a perfectly good source of amusement.

As the day wore on, he found himself with the remnants of Bad Luck, who had either been shooed away -or ran from their hotel room to take refuge in Grasper's, where Fujisaki was attempting to teach the two of them how to play chess.

He didn't think it was working very well, but was currently facing off against Ryuichi after running Shuichi into the ground several times in a row.

Hiro and Yosh-chan were back in the Bad Luck suite, intent on relaxing as much as possible on a day where they had nothing in particular to do. So no-one of sound mind wanted to be within twenty feet of them and you could bet that by the time everyone had piled into the bus again, the two lovers would be exhausted enough to sleep through most the trip. Ryuichi supposed the two of them were still in the 'honeymoon' phase of the relationship.

Which basically meant they took every chance given to them to sneak off and snog like rabbits.

Yuki and Tatsuha had gone off to do one thing or another most likely to simply get away from everyone else- which Ryuichi hardly minded, as he hated the severely displeased expression the green haired boy would take on every time Tatsuha stared just a little too long in his direction. He didn't mind Fujusaki- he really didn't, but thought it should have been taken into account just who Bad Luck was performing with, and he should have prepared for such a thing before ever inviting the youngest Uesugi along on the tour.

Besides that, it wasn't like he had actually come out and told the boy he liked him. Though from what Ryuichi had seen, you had to damn near beat an Uesugi male to get a message across to them. Long socks and fuku skirts worked pretty well too, so he was told.

Not that he ever wanted to know.

The managers were off making sure everything had been taken care of and made ready for the trip out. Noriko was with them playing the 'voice of reason' in Tohma's place to prevent as many casualties from K's wrath as possible, since he had taken off to go and do whatever it was he seemed to find worthy. Sulking, cursing Ryuichi's name, or eating ice cream.

Actually, ice cream didn't sound like such a bad idea right now...

He cast a devious grin to Kumagoro, who was resting on the night stand. To which account the plush loudly protested his train of thought, declaring that he had no wish to hear of such baseless debauchery of the most holy of frozen dairy treats.

Ryuichi registered him with a look that clearly suggested it would not be doing the ice cream any more injustice than it was doing to Tohma.

He could vaguely hear Shuichi suggest something to Suguru, as he was kicking his legs absently, sprawled over the bed, and busy acquainting himself with some strawberry pocky. It just wasn't right to make pocky so damn suggestive, and only added to Ryuichi's train of thought.

He snickered to himself, ignoring his bunny's indignant cries, and clicking away the white queen.

Fujisaki became flustered, sputtering slightly at the fact that Ryuichi was actually managing to best him. Kumagoro was just huffy because he was jealous, and Shuichi really sucked at playing chess.

Not that this was a surprise to anyone.

Hours ticked by slowly in this manner, before the Uesugi siblings had found it appropriate to grace their respective pop-star's with such esteemed presence- or whatever it was the men thought of themselves.

Ryuichi declined the offer to accompany the party to dinner, face breaking into a cheerful smile, and a chipper declaration of wanting a nap, so he would be able to watch Osaka go by once they'd gotten onto the bus.

Why K thought they had to check out at 2 AM was beyond him, but he supposed it had to do with avoiding most of the fans who would be mourning their departure.

So, alone again once more, he quietly set up the board, and took Kumagoro down from the dresser, keeping his mind focused. It was what he needed now, so he would be ready if he needed to be.

And sure enough, it wasn't but a half hour after their departure that the door slowly opened again, and he heard Tohma quietly making her way across the floor.

He raised his eyes from the board, where Kumagoro was still debating his next move, watching Tohma through the veil of his bangs. "Come sit down with me and play, Tohma-kun, Kumagoro just takes too long to make up his mind." He watched her head raise sharply, her brow scrunching as she seemed to debate for a moment.

So his musings had been justified... It had simply been the way he addressed her that triggered such a volatile reaction this morning.

Tohma seemed to reach a decision, finally coming to sit across from him on the bed, pulling Kumagoro into her lap, and examining the board for a moment, before reaching out to effortlessly click another of Ryuichi's pawns away.

"See? I told you he was rotten at this game. He likes Go."

Kumagoro only huffed.

Ryuichi noticed the flash of pain through her eyes as she settled herself, but gave no indication of it instead only moving again. "You okay?" Spoken casually, because the only thing fretting would do would be to work her up again- and Ryuichi couldn't handle that. He hated watching people cry...

She didn't answer, instead, snapping away another piece, that he'd never even had the chance to defend. Oh she was good.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked again, making his next move, and glancing up at her as she stared intently down at the board...

"...Tohma. You know I don't care right? I mean, sure- it's a little weird- I guess if anything I'm hurt you didn't trust me. What do you think has changed? As far as I can tell- you're still Tohma."

Click. Another red down.. "...And you're kicking my ass."

"Don't say things like that...Of course I trust you. I value your opinion over anyone's."

There was that 'this is the way it works' tone. The one that told him he shouldn't argue, business was business. But this wasn't business, and he wasn't a partner. He was her friend.

"So you've told me...But not enough to let me know- 'By the way, I turn into a girl when you take my clothes off?' " She obviously didn't think he was as witty as he did- looking up from the board to cast him a decidedly Tohma-specific glare.

"Don't talk to me that way about my idiosyncrasies! I don't ever go off and bring up your insistance on carting around a damn pink rabbit, do I?" -No, she didn't but certainly seemed intent on hugging the very stuffing from that same 'damn pink rabbit' being referred to.

Twisting his face up in an exaggerated pout, he whined at her. "Tooohmaaa! Don't be so mean to Kuma-chan! It's not -his- fault!"

She whipped up one of her white rooks, shaking it at him as if threatening to bounce it of his head. -The way things were going lately, he wasn't too sure she wouldn't do just that. "Oh knock it off you idiot."

"Well are you going to move, or just threaten to bludgeon me to death? I haven't seen you like this in years Tohma- maybe you really just needed to get laid."

The rook bounced off his head, and went sailing across to the opposite end of the room...

He hissed softly, rubbing at the newly rising bump... "...Ok. I deserved that."

But she was blushing- and that was certainly worth a few bumps to the head. "...So...When...? For that matter- why?"

He tried to recall what the great strategy he had been planning a moment before was, watching her as she absently played with Kumagoro's ears. It just wasn't right to be jealous of his bunny friend. After all- it wasn't as if he had -asked- to be sitting in Tohma's lap.

He just didn't need to be so -smug- about it.

"When I was nearly twelve..." He raised a brow, still staring at the board. "In New York?"

"You're awfully coherent today Ryu-'chan'."

Oh-ho. Now she wanted to be cheeky did she?

He chuckled, and finally chose to move his knight- almost surprised when Tohma instantly countered it. "Now isn't the time to hide behind walls, Tohma-kun." He met her eyes, and noted they had lost the darkness which had filled them that morning. She nodded once, and they both returned to the board. 

"I wanted more."

"More?"

"...I wanted to be important-" She chuckled softly... "All because I wanted him to be proud of me, my father... I didn't want to be the half-breed child hidden away in the states anymore. It was just so different in New York...Even then I knew what it would be like when I returned to Japan. "

Mm, that was true. In the states, Tohma could have lived however she wished, choosing any path she could have wanted... Back home, there was only one path for such a prominent families' daughter to follow, even if she was a half-blood..

For the flash of a minute he tried to imagine Tohma, waiting dutifully at home for her husband to return from his company- or sitting quietly at a table, eyes downcast as she poured tea.

It was really- the most terrifying picture he'd ever seen- only made worse when he dwelled a little more on her personality.

"You'd make a terrible wife." He commented, and was not at all surprised when one of the red knights ricocheted off his head. Giving her a playful glare, he tried to ignore the growing threat of a concussion...which only made him decide her husband would have needed some damn good health insurance.

"And he really let you do this...?" 

She scoffed softly... "...We're talking about a man who sent me off to live in the states when I was six- so he'd never have to admit to the shame of having his only heir being a daughter- If I could help him carry out a delusional existence- do you really think he'd find a reason to argue?"

Shaking his head slowly, he wondered for a moment about the stability of Seguchi-san... And finally understood all those dangerous looks directed at him after his first meeting with the man. If he remembered right, he'd become so much of a stuttering mess that Noriko and Tohma had to forcibly lead him out of the kitchen.

It was just likely that having the chance to be so independent, she'd rather not give it up so quickly, and so continued the farce. And what a remarkable one at that... She'd fooled the world.

"...So...who knows?"

"Sakano, and Mika-san."

Ryuichi raised a brow at this...He'd known that Tohma met Sakano before any of the rest of them- the poor fool had been suffering an internship at Seguchi-san's company... And it was only logical that Mika knew, because Mika was Tohma's wife...

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, shaking his head with a chuckle.

"Ok. I'm not even going to ask about that one."

Tohma snickered to herself, clicking away another game piece, and causing Ryuichi to wince. "Yes, I suppose it's best that way...So what happens now?" Her eyes rose again to meet his own, and for a moment he was afraid he would drown in a sea of green. 

"What do you mean? Nothing's changed- has it?"

A smile spread across her face, and he knew he'd made the right move... Unfortunately- his king was not so lucky.

"Checkmate!"

She looked so very delighted by that simple phrase, giving him the famous Seguchi smile with a strange sense of honesty to it. Maybe that was why his chest had gotten so tight. It was unusual to see Tohma so playful again.

He chided himself softly for getting nostalgic, and finally decided to stop thinking so much. There were too many thoughts, and they were making his head hurt... Letting his features relax, he laughed, pitch and tone falling up instead of down.

"Nyah, Tohma! You should really teach Shuichi how to play chess! Then we can -both- watch Fujisaki-kun's eyes go cross when he loses!"

And just as easy as that- it was all pushed away, all forgotten.

Ryuichi understood as well as anyone the need to forget- to be something you were not. He played that part every day- and let no one strip away his defenses against the world. If Tohma-chan, wanted to be Tohma-kun, then that was just the way it was- and he wouldn't be the one to go against that.

It would be half-way into Demon City Shinjuku- when Sakano and Noriko returned, accompanied by Fujisaki and Shuichi, out to collect the chess board. They found the Grasper pair half sprawled out in bed, with Ryuichi clinging to Tohma's chest, and babbling about terrible snake women and poor two headed dogs, while the blonde only patted his head and made remarks about the quality of the feature.

The nasty look Sakano cast him was not lost, and really, he'd never seen their manager look so very dangerous before- but it vanished with a simple smile from Tohma, reassuring him that Ryuichi wasn't holding her here against her will... No. Not her will. His will. 

Kumagoro would have to help him remember that.

Lucky for the younger boys- or maybe the older ones- for not having to face Fujisaki's wrath- the chess pieces had been collected, and the board once again folded up to form it's classy looking box, which was taken up as they left- it's owner never to know how gracelessly it's contents had been used as idiot ammunition.

Noriko just registered the remaining three with a look that told them while she wasn't sure what sort of a bug Sakano had up his ass- it better be gone by the time she got done with the shower, because she wasn't about to sit on a tour bus with a moody manager. The two 'boys' on the bed gave her matching angelic smiles, conveying just how unspeakably innocent they were.

After all, they were only sitting back and watching a quasi-horror flick... So maybe it wasn't the -best- choice of entertainment- but it certainly wasn't sinful. ...Demons not withstanding. Noriko began to open her mouth, a finger pointed at the two of them...She closed it again however, and sighed, shaking her head at her two little 'angels' as she stalked off to the shower.

They should know better. She had a six year old daughter, she knew how this works.

"Tohma."

Both Ryuichi and Tohma alike snapped their heads around to stare at Sakano, not having heard him address his precious 'Shachou' as this in years...

"...Don't make me worry like that again..."

Green eyes lost vibrancy, and fell to the bed, staring into the pattern across the comforter. "...Of course not."

Ryuichi shifted his eyes between the two, surprised as a strange sensation began grasping at his brain... It...felt so similar to the time Shuichi had taken his place on a television spot... But that didn't make any sense... Why would he feel like that around Sakano?

"That was by far- one of the single most stupid stunts you two have -ever- pulled...We were ready to have the authorities start looking for you...To cancel dates- You jeopardized the tour, you acted in an unprofessional manner- you were making out in the hotel -lobby-."

At first, the very idea that Sakano would use such a phrase made Ryuichi want to break out into giggles, until he noticed the horrified expression on Tohma's face. Wait...Making out in- Sakano knew they were in the hotel the entire time?

What the hell was this about search parties then?

"...I neglected to give this information to Mr.K."

That would explain it then.

"Shachou ...The press has been everywhere. Do you have -any- idea what sort of chaos it would cause if they had caught you? What do you think your -wife- would say if she woke up one morning to papers declaring you having an affair with Sakuma-san?"

Ryuichi blinked his eyes wide, and Tohma could hardly withhold the blush that threatened to rise in his cheeks. He was almost curious...But again decided it would be better for his mental health if he simply didn't know the specifics of that.

"And what's more- you made the people who care about you worry. You are both -adults-, and you should be responsible- ... Shachou ...You've worked very hard to get where you are...And here you're just throwing it all away?"

Ryuichi didn't miss the hurt in Sakano's voice...And he was fairly sure it had less to do with Tohma's possible failure, and all to do with 'throwing it all away' for Ryuichi. That feeling began to grow, shifting slowly into a creature of it's own accord, which happily sunk it's teeth into a tasty part of his brain.

Tohma laughed cheerfully, though both men could tell it was forced. "Sakano-san, really!" There he was- business Tohma- The N-G president, all cherry-topped smile. "It was just one night."

Why was it he suddenly felt like he'd been slammed in the gut with the whole wooden -box- of chess pieces?

Sakano didn't notice, instead, registering each of them with a severe look...He'd never seen the man this deathly serious...Or so eerily calm. "This..." He began, "This will -not- happen again... Understand?"

"Yes, Manager-san."  
The two chorused sounding for all the world like a pair of children being reprimanded for drawing on the walls, tossing the fine china around, or perhaps playing with the family heirloom's and managing to -not- loose a limb after running around crazy with ancient swords.

Still, though relief flooded the other man's features, Ryuichi could not help but be bitter...Who was he to tell them what to do?

Besides Grasper's manager of course...

But that didn't mean he could make very important decisions for them- Like telling Tohma who he could, or couldn't sleep with. So they'd have to be more careful, make sure they wouldn't be caught...That was all they had to do. But apparently Tohma listened to Sakano's advice- and if his expression was any indication- the one night would be their last.

He suppressed a growl...

It may have been for the good of Grasper. For their careers. But he still didn't have to like it... And that just made it so much easier to glare at Sakano, even as Nori returned with a more pleasant smile, seeing that the little darlings had been given a stern talking to.

Tohma didn't seem angry...so why was he?

Tohma looked as if he felt Sakano was right...Why did he think differently...?

...And for that matter...

Why was he so jealous?


	3. The stars from heaven fell

AN: Just wanted to say a few words of thanks to everyone who's sticking with us thus far- You guys totally rock for putting up with my crazy BS. And I'm glad you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it- every comment is very much appreciated. I just really suck with author's notes. Also thanks to Jmie, who was kind enough to sift through this crack to slaughter all the hyphens mercilessly so the comma's could reign supreme, and correct a couple spelling errors or whatever else.

These chapters just seem to get longer and longer as I go along. Eh-well. Let me know what you think if you've got the time, and thanks again for reading- Enjoy!

---------

The following days had the very world set against them.

It seemed that every possible thing that -could- go wrong certainly did. Tires went flat, lights blew- generators gave out, equipment was misplaced, one of the amps had fallen onto a stage hand, who luckily only broke an arm.

All of it had ,of course, required the full attention of N-G's president, and these incidents, coupled with performing as Grasper's lead keyboardist, left Tohma feeling haggard, and more often than not if he wasn't to be found on the phone trying to access damage or discuss repairs, he would be seen slumped into, over, or across any available surface.

Noriko remarked on his newfound ability to fall asleep standing up on more than one occasion, which lead to finding more creative ways to rest.

Slumped over a table as the band waited for food to arrive, passed out in the tour bus- leaning against someone's shoulder- this of course because after the fifth time he had been forcibly removed from Eiri's lap by either the author or Shuichi, he found it easier to just lean on whoever was available and least likely to move.

Less chance of being so disturbed that way. Table-tops and floors would also suit, and the one time Sakano had thought to remark about how it would affect his image, one of the crew had come running in to tell them that Fujisaki's keyboard had...

The colorful terminology used could be summed up quite easily as 'exploded.'

To this- Tohma, who had at that point been sitting up to listen to both the tech and Sakano, simply fell backward onto the table and thrown his arm over his eyes before he started to laugh. A high pitched, world is against me and fate mocks my pain post-psychopathic sort of laugh. Fearing for the lives of all three, Sakano quietly escorted the tech outside again and took care of the matter himself.

He came back later and told Tohma that he could sleep wherever he damn well pleased, so long as it wasn't on stage. And promptly sent the N-G President straight to bed. Mostly because the hotel staff had been to kind to move him but was starting to become impatient.

And as if that couldn't be enough strain on everyone- Ryuichi had decided he wanted to play the diva.

Anyone who had ever worked with Nittle Grasper was well aware of the dangers of attending to the 'great' Sakuma-san. Every tech ever hired was given a thorough warning as to the nature of Sakuma's peculiar mood swings, told to expect screaming fits, and impossible demands... Or some of the most creative insults they had ever heard.

The trouble was that no one could figure out exactly what had set off this most dreadful of Sakuma's moods, so there really wasn't any fixing it. For nearly a week after Osaka, he'd been perfectly fine, before the bitch struck without warning.

It seemed just about everyone was under his wrath, excluding Noriko- because even Diva-Ryuichi was no real match for Nori-chan. Tohma managed to be spared as well, if only because he was unconscious half the time anyhow.

The rest of the troupe hadn't been as lucky.

There had been nasty remarks made to the validity of Eiri and Shuichi's relationship, going into explicit detail about how much of a bastard Eiri was, and how Ryuichi would be -so- much better for the younger singer. That had ended with Shuichi actually kicking Ryuichi out of his hotel suite.

Which only prompted Ryuichi to scream for an hour and a half about how Shuichi was a no-talent knock-off whore, who everyone appreciated only because he emulated Ryuichi, and the public was too busy watching him writhe about on stage. This had ended with Shuichi in tears and K having to restrain Eiri, when he was out for Sakuma's blood.

When that wasn't enough, he'd gone out to snap about Fujisaki's own 'cloning' and how he would never be good enough to surpass the talents of his cousin; he would live as just a shadow. How he was a hollow shell of a person at sixteen, with only his intelligence to comfort him- that no soul on this earth would want him because he had nothing worth offering.

When this hadn't worked and Fujisaki had simply ignored his outburst, Ryuichi made sure the teen caught him with his tongue halfway down Tatsuha's throat later that same evening. That resulted in Fujisaki quickly departing the hotel and half the crew having to accompany K in the search to find him.

He'd also slapped Tatsuha across the face for grabbing his ass during the impromptu make-out session, but the youngest Uesugi didn't seem to care.

He'd said quite a few nasty things to Yoshiki, who had just kept smiling at him, that bright, cheerful smile she gave because she knew he didn't really mean any of it... This only angered him further- So he started in about her brother. Which may have been a bad idea because the minute his girlfriend started to cry, Nakano appeared out of nowhere.

Ryuichi had a fairly nasty black eye that the makeup crew had to cover up- and more than a few bruises from that encounter.

He'd tried every possible angle on Sakano and K, but they were far too used to his little tantrums to be phased at all. This was both comforting and disappointing. However, his own fit had set out the worst in everyone and by the time they'd arrived at the hotel in Yamanashii, they all looked about ready to collapse or tear out the eyes of anyone who dared speak to them.

Except for Yoshiki, who didn't hold anything against anyone- and everyone but Hiro wanted to tear -her- eyes out because she still managed to be so goddamn perky.

K was a bit more trigger happy than usual and had been firing off rounds at the crew, while the majority of the group simply slugged off to their rooms. Grasper, as usual, was sharing a suite. It had almost been tradition, from the start of cheap hotels, up to the grander ones: one room, two beds, split amongst the group, however they landed on the mattress at the time.

Currently, they were all staring intently at mind-numbingly raunchy hentai, the band itself all settled together on one bed and Sakano passed out in the other. If nothing else, it was a moment of peace and quiet, likely brought out by Ryuichi being tired of diva-ing, and the lot of them having a few hours of rest since their arrival at the hotel.

The movie was culminating into a critical and plot-altering tentacle scene when Tohma sat up suddenly, knocking Ryuichi into his lap, Noriko falling away from her hold on his shoulders. Ryuichi began muttering something, likely about the position he was in, but was quickly silenced when Tohma smacked him lightly across the back of the head.

Cursing again the singer rolled off his lap, while Noriko looked at Tohma with concern... "...Honey?" He fixed her with wild eyes of widened green. "...We're on a mission."

Ryuichi was up again, anger forgotten a devious glint in blue eyes... "Do we change?"

"No time for that, go as you are... Noriko!" Tohma hissed, making sure to avoid waking Sakano, in fear of jeopardizing this most important ploy. "Call us a car...Ryuichi and I will venture out into enemy territory and attempt a rescue."

Kumagoro was snatched up and Ryuichi saluted signaling his readiness. The three members of Grasper grabbed coats and shoes before sneaking quietly out of the room. Noriko downstairs to use her cell, while the two 'boys' set out to accomplish the impossible.

Sneaking quietly down the hall, both of them pressed comically against the walls of the hotel, peering around corners with narrowed eyes. What should have taken all of two minutes, stretched into about ten, before finally, Ryuichi dropped flat to the ground, while Tohma knocked on the door.

Hiro answered, hair askew and looking rather groggy. For a moment, he imagined he wasn't really awake... It had to be a dream because you didn't just wake up to find Seguchi Tohma at your door. ...In boots, silk pajama's, and a zipped-up jacket with fur trim.

"...Seguchi-san?" He asked sleepily.

Tohma never saw fit to answer, snapping out an arm and quickly placing a hand over his mouth, whirling him around to yank him back into the hallway.

The guitarist flailed, not expecting such a frail looking man to have that sort of strength, and Tohma nodded once to Ryuichi, who no less than combat crawled across the floor, performing a similar maneuver with Shuichi.

They were exceedingly lucky that K and the Uesugi boys were being forced to share a room; it would have been far more difficult to try and coerce the younger vocalist out of bed, if it was being shared by the novelist.

And past occurrences would most likely cause such a maneuver to end in Ryuichi's premature death.

Yoshiki was just sitting up in bed after having seen her boyfriend effectively kidnapped, giving Sakuma a confused expression, as for all intents and purposes, he seemed to be smothering Shuichi.

Jerking his head in Fujisaki's direction, and finally getting Shuichi out of bed, Ryuichi drug the confused and struggling boy out into the hall, where Tohma and Hiro were waiting for them. Hiro now standing on his own, as he had been at least somewhat notified of the plan's intent.

Deciding she had nothing better to do and they all needed to blow off a bit of steam, or maybe just not trusting Hiro alone with Ryuichi again yet, Yoshi threw back the covers and tip-toed over to Suguru's bed.

"Fujisaki-kun... Fujisaki-kun!" She whispered softly, and when gaining no response, reached out to poke him. He only rolled over, muttering a rather thought provoking insult to Tatsuha. She held her hands up helplessly when Sakuma popped his head back in the door, motioning for her to hurry.

Noriko was already waiting by the car she'd managed to get hold of, though no one would question the methods, when four j-pop/rock stars came bolting from the hotel, Hiro and Shuichi finally having been fully initiated into the great mission.

Hiro, however, rounded back to go and hold the door open, as Yoshiki followed behind them quickly as she could, Bad Luck's keyboardist still sound asleep and cradled in her arms. At any other point in time, it would have been comical, when the lot was shepherded into the car: Noriko at the wheel, Ryuichi riding shot-gun, and the rest of the group crammed into the back seat.

"Where the hell are we going anyway?" This was Hiro, still baffled by the insanity he was witness to-...Well, more of an accessory to now.

"It's tradition." Noriko remarked, just to have Yoshiki and Hiro stare at her, while Shuichi was giggling as he lightly poked Suguru, who fought consciousness like a man might fight to live. Tohma simply rolled his eyes and remarked that if Shuichi wanted to live, he should let the teen wake up in his own time.

"...It's tradition to kidnap people in the middle of the night?" Hiro asked incredulously.

"No!" Ryuichi snapped. "The mission. We have to answer the mission- it's just fated that way. It's always been like that- Since before you could pick up a guitar."

Noriko cast a sideways glance at Ryuichi, and in the back, Tohma balked.

"Well thank you Ryu-chan. You've managed to officially make me feel old for the first time in my life."

Shuichi let out a sudden yelp, as his poking hand was snapped up by a wrist, and Suguru glared at him with sleepy chocolate eyes... Sounds came from his mouth that seemed to form a question, but it wasn't in any identifiable language anyone could think of...

But Yoshi just patted the younger teen atop his head. "It's okay, sweetie; we're almost there," to which Suguru promptly collapsed again, head fallen back into her lap, mouth slightly open, and Shuichi's wrist spared from a painful end. Yoshiki blinked at the small collection of men who stared at her in confusion...

"...What? I have a six year old. I speak sleepy-child."

In the front, Noriko laughed. "Here-Here!"

It wasn't but about twenty minutes later that the group of seven found themselves in the parking lot of a large American-style diner, most in complete disbelief. Though it was nothing compared to the looks on the faces of the other patrons, when six well-known music icons (and one random woman) came waltzing in wearing their pajamas.

The associate press would have creamed themselves.

Quickly seated down at one of the larger tables, with a round booth to accommodate the lot of them in relative comfort, Bad Luck could do little less than blink when all of Nittle Grasper started speaking at once, rattling off what had to be at least half the menu- leaving their poor waitress to attempt to make sense of it.

Yoshiki also had the sense to order a salad, and something she was fairly sure that Hiro would eat. Fujisaki, upon catching two words of Grasper's order, requested a reasonable bowl of fresh fruit. He wasn't aiming to die young.

It wasn't until the food began to arrive, that the younger band became comfortable with the looks being directed at them, Shuichi content to watch as Tohma and Ryuichi constructed a massive balancing form of art from all the silverware on the table. Hiro wasn't as impressed with this display, instead trying to find reason once again.

"...You brought us ...to a diner...At three a.m... the night before a performance...for-"

"French fries!"

Reason was obviously forgotten as Tohma squealed in delight, something that brought even the groggy Suguru to complete awareness, but was soon passed off in favor of the coffee placed in front of him.

Indeed, the table was quickly filled with some of the most disturbing appetizers known to man-kind, and Grasper seemed perfectly happy to stuff themselves full of as much artery- clogging junk as they could.

The younger teens stared on... They -admired- these people?

"HEY!" Ryuichi yowled suddenly, just about slamming his glass down, not caring for the amount that spilled.

"Kumagoro ordered -pink- lemonade. This stuff isn't pink, take it back and bring us some real drinks." He went on to curse in English, causing Shuichi's eyes to widen.

"Sakuma-san! It's just a little mistake... there's not any need to get upset..."

"Of course there is." Tohma muttered, seeming to have lost the spontaneous drive he was so recently running on. Taking up a trio of fries he dipped them into the dish of chocolate soft serve in front of him, "Because Ryuichi's a little bitch. Aren't you Ryu-chan?"

He was answered with a tongue projected in his direction coupled with, "Tohma would know -all- about being a bitch, wouldn't he?" While Hiro simply made a face as Tohma ignored the retort, happily nibbling at the strange treat.

"...How the hell can you -eat- that?"

Noriko cackled softly, reaching over to pat the guitarist on the shoulder.

"Oh this is nothing at all- You should see the sort of junk-food he keeps in his desk back home. Some of it shouldn't be considered food at all."

"Hush... Those foods are a delicacy all to themselves, and you shouldn't ever speak against my impeccable taste. Anyhow... We used to do things like this all the time. It's a good way to get rid of pre-concert jitters..."

They all turned back to watch Tohma, now half lying over the table and already polishing off both fries and soft-serve. He continued on absently, as if only to himself.

"It's also a good way to get rid of Ryu-chan's diva-fits."

Sakuma was too busy crawling over the back of the plastic seats to flash smiles and flirt with the late-night crowd on the opposite side to hear him, so he gave no comment to that, but Noriko giggled a little. Kumagoro fell from Ryuichi's grasp, and defying all physics, landed perfectly atop Tohma's head.

Shuichi was the one who was staring now, shaking his head in wonder, not at his idol crawling around in bunny-print pajama's or illogical plushies, but at Tohma, already snatching up a few un-identifiable fried things from Ryuichi's abandoned plate.

"Kami! You eat more garbage than I do- how do you manage to keep looking like that?"

Glancing upward, Tohma only gave him a snarky smile. "Wouldn't you like to know."

This, in turn, set Noriko into peals of laughter, while Ryuichi lost his balance and went crashing into the lap of a squealing teenager. That was apparently the signal for the all clear, and the table was soon swarmed with all the curious characters that usually came to a place like this in the early morning hours.

The younger performers found that even though it was incredibly early, all the stress that had been building up over the past couple of weeks was cleared away, simply by interacting with these people on a personal basis. Before he'd fallen asleep on Noriko, Tohma had muttered something about a way to remember who they were really playing for and why they worked so hard.

So maybe a kidnapping with intent to force a little junk food on them wasn't so bad... They felt alive again, everyone was on speaking terms... And really, hanging out in your pajamas with the people who inspired your dreams was just freaking cool. Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck alike were ready for their next performance, and they'd be sure it was one no-one would ever forget.

Yamanashii would never know what hit it.

-

They had made their way back to the hotel and simply mucked around for a little while, much to the dismay of the hotel staff, who apparently did not find hall-way/floor tag suitable for its guests to partake in. It didn't help any that by the time they had finished, a good twenty people had been into the game.

By the time they had arrived for rehearsal, Tohma seemed to be little less than dragging his feet and wavering slightly when he paused. Kumagoro had made a comment earlier about their good friend being pale, but you could never really tell with Tohma.

He visibly flinched as Tohma managed to stumble over few chords of Image of Tomorrow, which until that moment, Ryuichi had thought was impossible. Noriko didn't mention it, and Tohma pressed on, with no further indication of fault... He played effortlessly, as always. Ryuichi watched him as he walked, stumbling slightly when he first stepped away from his keyboards.

"Tohma!"

He called out before half jogging over, and wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulders

"...You look like shit."

He was registered with a tired glare, but then the shadow of a smile flickered across his friend's face.

"Thanks."

He met this with a full grin for a moment, before placing himself in the blonde's path.

"...You gonna be okay, Tohma-kun?"

For a moment, Tohma looked taken aback, and Ryuichi could see the glitter of worry in his eyes, accompanied by a bit of surprise for the concern... But his features softened, and he smiled again.

"I'm just a little tired, Ryu-chan... I'll take a nap back at the hotel, and then I'll be fine. I promise..."

"Well. If you -promise-."

He laughed gently, forcing the sparkle back into his eyes as he threw an arm around Ryuichi's shoulders, beginning to lead them both out of the theater.

"Of course I promise. Don't worry yourself... Let's just make this a night to remember."

-

The concert sets varied, but this one in particular was set up with the dual-bands first. It was more to add a little flair to the show than anything else, band members being switched around or one band playing the other's songs.

It was purely for comic effect and to be sure every so often one band would botch a cord or add lib, and the members of the opposing band would be calling out insults or making snide remarks, as they remained sitting on the stage. Of course, the crowd ate it up like candy.

There were also new arrangements made, one for Shining Collection and one for Rage Beat, which had all six performers on stage at once, giving the audience a chance to witness little less than an orgasmic musical experience.

This was something they had all come to look forward to at each stop of the tour, and everyone was sure demands would be made for new copies of the songs to be produced and released- something everyone agreed upon, if only because the sound was simply amazing.

Nittle Grasper would be doing the last act of the night for the Yamanashii show, and so while Bad Luck was still finishing their set, the three J-rockers stood back stage, high on adrenalin and fighting impatience.

Ryuichi was nearly bouncing around, trying to refrain from simply running back out onto the stage before it was needed. Noriko was smiling brightly, and even Tohma seemed to be in good spirits.

A long nap had certainly done the trick, and he was looking better than he had in weeks.

When Bad Luck had finally cleared the cheering fans and took their final bows of the night, the trio moved out once again on stage. Nothing particularly spectacular was planned for the final set, just old 'classics' that would have the fans screaming for more, no matter how many times they'd heard them.

Taking his place at the variable box of keyboards and synths, Tohma waited for Ryuichi's signal, knowing Noriko was doing the same.

The song began, but the music never reached him; he was too busy concentrating on the keys, for the first time in his life having to focus on each note he played. He'd been exhausted from the moment they stepped on stage, from the minute he'd dragged himself out of bed.

But Tohma was a master of false smiles. He wouldn't back out of a performance. None of them had... Ryuichi had sung himself hoarse, Noriko had continued on for seven months, carrying Saki along with her. It hardly mattered if he was tired. He could press on.

The static feeling was building in his limbs, and the dizziness steadily grew, until his eyes began to blur. Fingers flew across the keys in a fury to keep going; he would not fail. He couldn't fail. He was Seguchi Tohma. And the world be damned, for Seguchi Tohma never gave up.

They played through the set, driving the crowd wild, proving that though Grasper may have aged, they had never changed. Every song held such a powerful desperation, a new light to it, the music challenging Ryuichi to meet it step for step, which he did flawlessly.

(And there's no way out)

Tohma's own world was spinning around him, and he could no longer keep his head up, letting it fall lightly to be shadowed by the brim of his hat. Damn the hat. And the coat. Why did he insist on wearing such bulky clothing under the stage lights? For that matter, why was it getting so hard to breathe?

(I'm falling further down)

He forced his eyes open again, not sure when he had even closed them. The feeling in his arms intensified, until it seemed every nerve had betrayed him, before being altogether lost. Pressure on his chest increased, until he could feel his heart protesting. His fingers halted above the keys, and the world simply began to disappear...

Jerking his head up sharply, eyes narrowing, he would finish this song, regardless of his body's protests. Calling up the last breaths of air from his lungs, he met Noriko with the final damning words.

(Hold me gently, always catch me, more and more, in order to break my heart)

He could hear the audience's screams, how they changed in pitch suddenly, giving little account to how his legs had finally betrayed him, only slumping soundlessly to the floor - Sleepless Beauty surrounding him, and Noriko's own frantic screaming ringing in his ears, before the darkness swallowed him up.

---

Once he'd established that Seguchi had a pulse, after the lights had been killed and there was little left to the dark world but screaming fans and panicking stars, Noriko had been instructed to call for the paramedics out back to be ready to go as soon as they got there.

It was that sort of organized chaos, where everything goes exactly how it needs to and almost everyone does what they should do, making the process that much easier. Almost. And of course, the fact of the matter was that they had to get the hell out of here, and the American manager wasn't going to deal with any idiots who wanted to just stand there and gawk, while his boss could potentially be moments away from death.

"GET -OUT- of my goddamn way!" K screamed in English, just about bowling over any tech who didn't move fast enough. He had lost the last ounce of his patience now and was concentrating only clearing the path for the group behind him as quickly as humanly possible.

Ryuichi was shouting at them just as loudly to move, while Sakano was issuing orders to go out and handle the crowds. Eiri remained silent worrying only about the precious cargo he had cradled in his arms.

Coat and vest torn away to leave him in slacks and silk shirt, Tohma hung limply in Eiri's arms, lost to this world and those around him, looking pale as a ghost and more fragile than he had ever seen him. It just wasn't the way his brother in law was supposed to appear. He should be viewed as finely veiled power, not some delicate breakable thing.

Kicking open the back doors and high-tailing it to where Noriko had called the ambulance over, finding it indeed ready and waiting for them. There was nearly an incident when they threatened to pull Tohma out of Eiri's arms, refusing the author entry until Ryuichi yelled something sharply about , "-family-, family!' and they simply yanked the other man in as well.

The doors were shut, and Ryuichi could only watch helplessly with K as the lights and sirens sped off. One look back to Sakano, and it was a bolt to gather up the rest of the tour, each one knowing full well the demands that would be made to follow along.

And no one thought to argue with them.

--

It would be hours later, when all of Bad Luck was still sitting in silence in the lounge, Ryuichi pacing; Noriko drinking what had to be her eighth cup of coffee; Yoshiki asleep on Hiro's shoulder; Fujisaki staring blankly at the television screen, not at all even aware he was resting in Tatsuha's lap, with the boy's arms around him… And all the while Shuichi was uncharacteristically silent... Worrying not only for Tohma, but for his lover, should anything happen to the keyboardist.

The bands' managers were nowhere to be seen, apparently trying to deal with the mass of press that had set up camp outside the hospital almost minutes after Tohma had arrived here. It was likely they'd followed the damn ambulance.

Of course, since the collapse, every station in Japan felt the need to replay the story every ten minutes or so, as everyone waited for news, fearing the worst.

The door to the small room opened, causing all heads to turn. K looked tired and worn but registered them all with a half-smile.

"We've arranged a press conference... It should be live in about ten minutes... Everything is going to be OK."

You could hear the collective cheer from down the halls, disregarding the appropriate way to handle the situation as the group just about leaped from their chairs. Noriko let out a rattled half-sob, falling onto Ryuichi and laughing through tears that everyone imagined had dried up hours ago. Tatsuha went so far to lift Suguru up and spin him around; Yoshi was smiling brightly once again, and Hiro had his arm snug around Shuichi's shoulders.

Everything would be fine...

If only they knew how very wrong K was.

Down the hall, the celebrating was less... enthusiastic.

It was no small fact that Yuki Eiri hated hospitals. The smell, the florescent lighting, the fake sympathy. The cold unfeeling way of them. He would go to many lengths to avoid hospitals, yet here he was, sitting in one of those god awful plastic chairs, watching as Tohma slept.

He hadn't said a word for hours, after the doctor's had finished grilling him with questions. It was better this way because he had every wish to begin shouting... He nearly had, though he knew well enough the situation did not call for his temper, and for once, listened to his own reasoning.

That had to be why he had called Mika. Quietly explaining the situation to her, before as calmly as he could, demanding an explanation. She had protested at first, before he told her that if she didn't tell him, he'd be sure Tohma did. And if she wanted her husband, wife, whatever the hell Tohma was back again, it would be better for Mika to explain it.

Truth be told, he'd had to laugh. Here she was, his father's perfect daughter, the one child who -hadn't- failed. His Mikarin. Every bit as defiant as her younger brothers. She'd just been so much more -sneaky- about it.

Not that he aimed to take this lightly, oh there was no way in hell he was going to sit back and just let this go... But begrudgingly he could admit that Tohma had done enough for him to merit some sort of patience.

Finally growing bored of watching the little dots on the various monitors do whatever it was they were intended to do and a bit ill from knowing they were all connected to tubes which had been set into the pale woman's skin, he reached absently for the remote and turned the small television on.

Not surprisingly, he was greeted with a view of the very hospital they were sitting in. Sakano was standing beside the doctor, who had so recently been in this same room, fussing over Tohma's charts and muttering to himself, telling Eiri all sorts of things he never understood.

Really, was it so very difficult for someone to say 'She fainted. She's tired. Let her sleep,' without using so many impossible terms?

Turning the volume up, he heard them rattle off a recap of what had transpired earlier that evening and listened to Sakano give his own statement before introducing the doctor, who stepped forward to speak. Of course, it was more inane medical babble, but he did catch the tail end of it.

"- condition has been stabilized, and with a little rest she should be just fine."

Eiri heard the choked sound Tohma made behind him but could only stare at the screen, watching, more than hearing the overwhelming silence as Sakano stood frozen, expression petrified. Not a sound was made from the assembled press as they took a moment to digest the information...

He turned the television off and then turned back once again to Tohma, who was still staring at the black screen, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. He may not be the most reasonable person in the world... And he certainly wasn't going to take this mess lightly... But now was not the time to confront the issue. Instead, he stood and took stance beside the bed, providing his arms for her to fall into.

Outside, though they'd never hear it, the press had erupted into a roar, shouting off questions to the doctor, to Sakano- in such a flurry there was hardly time to answer them, no time or chance to correct an error made by circumstance.

Down the hall, those assembled in the lounge stared up at the T.V. in varying states of shock and confusion, Ryuichi only slumping down into a nearby chair. Somehow, he was sure this was all his fault. Nothing like this had ever happened before, and they'd all been in the public's eye for years. Yes. Somehow, he was the one who had destroyed it all...

Tohma would kill him.

And all the while in that small hospital room, Eiri held her against him, feeling the tremble of her body. His own breath hitched as he looked down to the sobbing woman held in his arms.

The same one who had held him time and again- the only person who truly understood him, and one he found now he had never truly known. Seguchi Tohma was falling apart.

And it was terrifying.


	4. And thus began to find themselves

AN: For the love of all that's good and holy in this world of unsurpassed darkness that is fanfiction- this chapter took me FOREVER. FOREVER damn you! Four days of agonizing work, enough so that I had to mention it. It had -absoloutely- nothing to do with the purchase of DDR this week. 

Nothing.

Thank you again for all those lovely reviews, I'm pleased to see many of you returning to read each new level of my insanity, It makes me smile. And- because of this, I feel the need to apologize for both lateness, and whatever this chapter lacks that I have yet to figure out.

And once again, I need to thank Jmie for being so willing to suffer through beta-ing this, or listening to my sudden 'OMG! I had an image!' conversations at 3AM. She's such a patient darling muse. And I bet I'm imbarassing the hell out of her right now- so I'll stop before she gets mad.

Enjoy, and with fate willing, you'll all be seeing the next chapter sometime early next week.

-----

Japan was in little less than an uproar, and it seemed that for once, the name on everyone's lips did not belong to Sakuma Ryuichi, but to Tohma.

The press was going little less than mad, having set upon anyone and everyone who ever had connections to the keyboardist or her family. N-G's staff seemed clueless, Mika simply refused to comment on the subject at all, and Uesugi-san could only sputter barely masked curses. Fujisaki-san, both of them, were happy to tell the press that up until the death of the 'most honorable' Seguchi-san, they had not even been aware of Tohma's existence.

Nittle Grasper's devoted fans simply thought it was the single greatest publicity stunt ever orchestrated in the history of the music world, conveniently forgetting the revelation took place only by chance.

Many, however, were not quite as amused by the thought that a single woman in her thirties more or less controlled the entirety of Japan's music industry and possessed more connections than most politicians.

It didn't take very much for the tabloids to begin throwing slander around, questioning everything from virtue to sexuality. Though, of course the latter had always been questioned by the press, this new aspect only added more confusion.

As if this were not enough for the press to rile over, N-G's president further sealed her fate by postponing the tour. Many were outraged by this, though the performers involved all agreed it would be best to not press on. With all the coverage and chaos surrounding her, it would be best for Tohma's safety to simply return to Tokyo.

Which is exactly what they set out to do practically the moment she'd been released.

The trip back was mostly uneventful for those who were taking it, everyone choosing to keep their silence, with Shuichi left on his own as Eiri felt the need to guard Tohma as if she were ready to fall apart. 

The singer complied to this without protest, and Tohma herself seemed grateful, taking the opportunity given to her to sleep. Her cell-phone long ago having been taken by Sakano, and shut off to prevent any disturbance.

The rest of them could only wait for answers which Grasper's manager had vowed would be provided in due time. The truth was most of them felt incredibly uncomfortable, and in fact, had placed a self,imposed media ban after the disaster that was the interview with Fujisaki's family.

He'd explained that the shadow between the Fujisaki and Seguchi branch existed only from the proceedings of Seguchi-san's will. Which had left everything to his only child, eluding his sister completely. 

Of course, none of this was Tohma's fault, but from the way Fujisaki described it, his mother was disinclined to care about details. So long as the woman had someone to sneer at, that was all that mattered.

It was little wonder that she would take this opportunity to 'avenge' herself against the child who had taken what she considered rightfully hers.

Noriko was still effectively stunned, as was K, the two of them having had close contact with Tohma longer than most and never having given anything a second thought. Ryuichi simply watched the world go by, and everyone thought he was taking this whole thing remarkably well.

Tatsuha, at the very least, didn't think he'd take it this well if his best friend had suddenly been discovered to be lying to him his entire life. Hell, he figured he'd be pretty pissed off... There were few reasons he wouldn't be, and he couldn't think of why Ryuichi shouldn't be either... at least until his hormones caught up with his reasoning, and the quiet of the bus was killed by a seventeen year old boy spouting,

"Holy fuck! You slept with her!"

He never meant to say it out loud... And, of course, he regretted it the minute the bus damn near swerved off the road, throwing everyone to the right as the tires protested with a screech. K had started yelling curses at Sakano to keep in his lane, while every head in the bus turned toward Tatsuha and Ryuichi.

Tatsuha was withering under the glare Fujisaki was registering him with, to say nothing of everyone else, but Ryuichi... He had begun to slide slowly down in his seat, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. It was quite likely that the only reason the vocalist and young Uesugi did not meet their untimely ends at that moment was that Eiri didn't dare move because Tohma had managed to sleep through the entire exchange, near wreck and all.

Of course, as they were not held back by the threat of disturbing an exhausted woman in their arms, Fujisaki and Noriko were free to come down on the two as angels of vengeance. Tatsuha soon discovered that even a precious game console could be sacrificed for the good of beating sense into him, and both he and Ryuichi were subjected to the screeching tyrannous rage of Nori-chan.

By the time the trip would be over, both men would have the bruises to speak of surviving such great perils. And Tatsuha would be lucky he had no less than a minor concussion. 

It had been no easy feat to try and get the various performers through Tokyo, and K's own personal methods of 'crowd control' had to be implemented to just get them across the drive of the Seguchi's home.

It had also been rather difficult to persuade the press that- No. Seguchi-san did -not- want to say a few words. Nor did the rest of Grasper or any of Bad Luck for that matter. This had ended quickly enough with firing off of a few more rounds as they made a beeline into the house, Sakano and K staying behind to feed whatever story had been decided upon to the eager press.

Once inside, the best idea for all of them seemed to be dropping down in the living room. While Eiri, who still seemed more protective of Tohma than anyone could have thought him capable, lead the blonde off towards her own bedroom.

Mika, who had been waiting for them, looked none the worse for wear. At least for someone who had been dealing with the announcement to the public that her marriage of the last four years was a total sham. True, she looked fairly irritated with the situation, but Mika seemed to be a perpetually irritated individual anyhow, so this was nothing new.

What was, however, would have to be the way she offered them all a portion of the lunch she'd just been finishing up. No one saw fit to argue, especially when the blur of a seven year old boy came vaulting across and into the waiting arms of Yoshiki, ending up half in Hiro's lap as well. He blinked up at the two with impossibly wide eyes, before settling down against his 'mother' and watching the rest of the band.

Rikun had been given the option of accompanying the tour, as now more than ever before he was effectively Yoshiki's son, and more or less to that account Hiro's. But the child, himself, decided the experience might be a bit too loud for his tastes, choosing to remain in Tokyo under Mika's care.

If only because Yuji couldn't figure out what to do with the child for more than a few hours at a time.

So Mika set about finishing tea for the lot of them, and the living room became something to the effect of a luncheon conference hall.

When Eiri returned, avoiding most eye contact with the Nakano 'family' settled on the couch, he slumped into the plush chair Shuichi had given up the moment he arrived, letting the singer fall back down into his lap.

Thank gods the Seguchi's entertained frequently or there would be more than a few people just standing around aimlessly.

"Will she be all right?" The younger vocalist asked hesitantly, to which any reply from the novelist was cut off by his sister barking out one of her upper class laughs. 

"Of course –he- will. It's Tohma. It's just a minor setback, a little time and everything will be back to normal again. I would hardly be surprised if he managed to convince the press that the doctor in Yamanashii was mad."

"Yeah, that may cut it for the press, Sis, but it sure doesn't cut it for any of us..."   
Tatsuha flinched as Suguru glared in his direction, holding his hands up in defense, and request for peace or at least to deflect bludgeoning. Fujisaki, however, seemed to have already figured him with enough punishment, if only because Mika gave go indication of being irritated.

"Well, it's not really your business..."

"Oh, come -on- Sis! You go on for years, living with what could be the biggest secret of my generation, -knowing- the lead keyboardist of Grasper is a chick... I mean hell, you -married- her!"

"...Whoa! My sister is a lesbian!"

He looked towards Eiri, pointing incredulously. "Our sister is a lesbian!"

Eiri didn't seem to be impressed by this revelation, and Mika's expression never changed.

"Is she hot? A total minx in bed? You gotta let a man in on this, Sis, My fragile teenage mind needs to know!"

To this effect, Mika only quietly sipped at her own glass of tea while the rest of them tried to either ignore Tatsuha's very existence or play it off as if they weren't interested in those particular details, themselves.

"First of all, nothing has changed as far as any of you should be concerned. It would be advisable to continue addressing Tohma as you always have... As to the other matters... I wouldn't know about that. I've never actually slept with him."

"Well hell, that's not fair..."

His sister raised a brow at this, but didn't say anything to encourage him further, knowing he'd do well enough continuing on his own. "I mean, hell, if I was living with a famous cross-dressing rock star, I'd sure as hell be sleeping with them."

He paused again, and it seemed for a moment that he was finished with his thoughts, before he gave Mika the fish,eye.

"... So... that leaves one question for me to ask..."

"... Are -you- a lesbian?"

Mika's highly apathetic expression signified this was a question which would not be answered today or any other day in what was threatening to be Tatsuha's very short life.

"I don't believe this..."

Eyes turned to Noriko, who was staring down into her tea as if it would offer her all the answers if she just searched hard enough. Mika seemed more inclined to offer a better explanation to her friend, rather than her brother.

"Why didn't he,..."

"Say anything?"

Mika chuckled. "Oh, Tohma never would have told me, if I hadn't been so dead set on a second date. Or a relationship of any sort… In the end, however, we decided it was beneficial on both sides, if we came to some sort of mutual agreement."

Eiri let out a snort. "She figured out if the old man thought she was already paired off, he wouldn't be tossing idiots at her left and right."

He gave her a pointed look. "So much for duty to family and honoring your responsibilities, ey Mika?"

His sister only seemed to have concern for the tea in her hands. "So bitter, Eiri. It's not as though you haven't tried your best to work our beloved father into an early grave, yourself."

"Hn. Unfortunately, it's never worked. This may just do the trick, however."

"Yuki!"

Attention back to Shuichi, who looked none too pleased with the way the conversation had been going. "You shouldn't talk like that… No matter how angry he makes you, he's still your father, and,"

"You all happen to be quite loud... has anyone ever told you that?"

Heads turned once again to the door where Tohma stood, dressed in fine Chinese silk, a tired smile placed across her lips. "Now, would anyone mind if I joined you, or shall I leave you all alone to discuss my life without me?"

"Don't be silly Tohma-love, come and sit." 

Shaking her head slowly, Tohma moved across the room to sit beside her wife. It seemed for a moment that Eiri would get up to sit opposite but was held back only by Shuichi occupying his lap at the time.

Tatsuha looked ready to open his mouth again at this exchange, but snapped it shut when Tohma directed one of her eerily cheerful smiles his way.

"Well... All of you were so fascinated with me before. Can you really loose interest so quickly?"

It certainly seemed that way, as the young people in the living room were endlessly fascinated with the carpeting or the walls.

Eyelids lowering, Tohma continued to smile. 

"Well then. That's the end of that... isn't it?"

Whatever Sakano had told the press, it seemed to satiate them and by the end of the week only the cover of every –other- magazine or newspaper had Tohma's picture plastered across it. Still, the N-G president allowed the tour-group the weekend to relax, and recuperate after all the stress received while away from home, so they would be ready and willing to start out the new week with as much energy as they could muster.

Monday was one of those strange mornings of utter perfection. Waking without feeling groggy, a good breakfast, and little traffic on the way to work.

Seguchi Tohma walked into N-G studios that morning with a smile on her face, polished boots clipping across the tiled floors. Not a thing about her seemed to have changed, as far as the employees were concerned, still the same pressed slacks and marbleized turtleneck, coupled with a leather trench coat that made her appear just as eccentric as ever.

Most of them were paid well enough to simply ignore everything the Shachou ever did, and those that weren't had the intelligence to stare as discreetly as possible. After all, they wanted to both keep their jobs and prove the rumors true.

It was little less than 8:00 by the time she made it to her office, nodding a greeting to the secretary and even casting a genuine smile to Sakano, who was already there preparing the morning coffee.

By 9:00, Bad Luck was scheduled to arrive in the studio with intent to begin preliminary work on a new album plan. They would also be constructing several new songs for use at the tour's revival, something to appease the fans. Ryuichi was also there to assist in making it a collaborative effort.

By 10:30, Shindou Shuichi arrived at Bad Luck's rehearsal studio, little less than floating in.

At 11:00, Tohma was quietly mulling over what she would have Sakano fetch for lunch, when the secretary buzzed for her attention. She was informed of some sort of problem being had on the first floor, and instead of simply waving Sakano off in that direction, decided to go and sort the mess out, herself.

After all, the day had been going well enough so far. Why should it change?

Humming a tune softly under her breath, she had to pause at the second floor, having forgone the elevators for the elegant, but little used steps.

Standing on the balcony were no less than two dozen of her employees, all staring down into the foyer in rapt amazement.

That, in itself, drew up the curiosity, and she found herself joining them, only for a moment. Perhaps it would give light to the situation her secretary had spoken of. Resting her hands on the fine metal railing, she joined the masses in their gawking.

N-G Studios had suddenly, without word or warning, become little less than a jungle.

And from what could be seen, more was yet to arrive.

Tearing away from the rail, Tohma's steps could be heard clearly as she made a quick descent to join Sakano, who was surprisingly already trying to attend to the mess without her knowledge. He was howling in his high-grating whine at someone who seemed to be in charge, all the while unable to stop the workers that continued to carry their cargo inside, setting it anywhere they could.

"...If I may interrupt, gentlemen..."

Both Sakano and the rather frustrated man turned their heads to Tohma, who stood before them, the picture of composed elegance and refined power.

"Just what exactly possessed you to interrupt the performance of my company?"

The man merely thrust out a clipboard in her direction, completely unfazed. "Delivery for Seguchi-san. Sign here."

Green eyes gave a muted flash, and she barely suppressed the sneer that threatened to cross her face. Not only did this man ignore her question, but he had the nerve to act as though she were an inconvenience to –him-.

Snapping the board out of his hand, she flipped through a stack of papers that rivaled many of the lawsuits which had been filed against K. Or perhaps the company's insurance policy. Sakano stood beside her, wringing his hands nervously, while above them more had gathered to take in the sight.

"There must be some mistake."

"Oh, there's no mistake. And this is just the first run."

Looking up from the papers in her hands, her eyes traversed the room... It was a literal florist's nightmare. Every arrangement known to mankind seemed to now be displayed proudly behind the glass walls of N-G Pro. 

There were roses, dozens upon dozens of the highly prized audaciously expensive flowers in more colors than she could think of; flowers both common and exotic, some unknown to her in baskets, in glass vases, simple wrapped bouquets. Plants of every shape and size, and all sporting small cards.

It was the most gaudy thing she had ever seen in all her life.

And every one, down to the smallest scrap of a carnation, was addressed to her.

It was hardly past noon before Tohma was nursing the beginnings of a migraine, having just finished a less than pleasant conversation with Mika, who found it necessary to call up and direct every curse imaginable to her person for all the packages that were arriving on the doorstep of their peaceful home.

She had lost her appetite an hour ago, as the lines of the studio had been flooded with gracious invitations made by prospective suitors to every restaurant in Tokyo and the surrounding region, as well as a more outlandish one to take in Mediterranean food.

In Greece.

Then, of course, there was the growing number of gifts being delivered to N-G: everything from stuffed animals to computer equipment, works of art, and music compilations filled the lower level. The employees had taken to sifting through everything, and Tohma, feeling rather embittered toward anyone foolish enough to think that she could be bought off so easily, had told them to take whatever they wished.

It was a shame on some accounts... There were variable boxes of designer clothing, finely decorated fans, and even a handful of kimono. The sort Uesugi-san might cry over. She had simply stopped looking after the eighth necklace and retreated to her office leaving the studio to its newly acquired chaos.

She had gone ahead and pocketed a particularly lovely strand of pearls, knowing Mika would love them. Everything else Ryuichi saw fit to snap up, and the fate for these would be the stones torn from settings and simply tossed into a small velvet bag the vocalist kept hidden under his bed, already filled with all manner of gemstones and colored glass alike.

What bothered her most, however, were the cards. She had originally wanted to catalogue names and have Sakano compose a rather nasty letter of decline to send to the lot, but then she'd started to recognize them, and not all were Japanese.

Politicians, ambassadors, Dukes, men who laid claim to royal blood, some of the most prominent names in Japan, a few of which she was fairly sure were already married. And as further insult, no less than half the men she was to have her 3:00 meeting with had made this same list.

And still, the gifts kept coming. She had tried to contact every possible florist in the area to request they refuse deliveries to either N-G or her home, only to find that a good deal of them had been cleaned out already.

She liked to imagine herself a woman of very capable temper.

She liked to think that any situation which presented itself could be met with a smile and calm, even tone.

It had to be when someone had the balls to send an Uchikakae tailored somehow to her specifications that she decided the next creature setting foot into her sight that owned testicles would be quick to lose them.

When the door to the office was opened and that creature presented itself with a small tray carrying ramune and a plethora of convenience store sushi, she supposed that every decision could merit rethinking.

Or at the very least, Sakano didn't count.

So as the man busied himself with making more coffee, Japan's recently discovered most eligible bachelorette who was capable of having the finest fugu on a whim, happily stuffed herself on cheap sushi.

"Ah, Sakano-san... truly, I do love you," She paused to pop another of the god-awful treats into her mouth, not noticing the startled expression on her devoted manager's face. 

"The only man I could ever trust to not be so foolish as to think I would ever lower myself to be his wife."

Sakano continued to stare, as he calculated his chances of survival, if he were to throw himself from Tohma's office window that very moment. Fate warned him that the way his life was going, the chances were excellent.

"...Yes, Shachou."

So he settled for going back to finish the coffee.

"Do you suppose..." She mused over her ramune. "I should simply make a televised announcement? Stand up on a podium, and scream 'No!' for about three minutes?"

At least she was smiling again...

He chuckled a little, pouring himself some coffee and darting over to procure one of the smaller pieces of sushi, which earned him a playfully dangerous glare. He figured this small act of vengeance for his heart was worth the danger of losing his job; stealing the presidents lunch, of course, was a highly punishable offense. 

"Perhaps. Then again, they seem a little persistent, don't they?"

"Hnn. Have Hanami cancel my 3 o'clock... Is there anything else scheduled for today?"

"No, just a few new albums to look over, before they go out for production... but Sakuma-san was wondering if you'd be free to join him at Kin No Saru for dinner this evening."

Tohma raised her head from the papers she had just begun looking over, blinking in surprise. "Kin No Saru? That's a bit classy for Ryuichi, isn't it?"

"He mentioned Ichinoya as well, but I told him you most likely wouldn't be in the mood for eel... Perhaps he's trying to make it up to you?"

She scoffed softly. "Certainly not, Mika and I went to Ichinoya last month...What time?"

"Seven o'clock."

"And a schedule too... I told him everything was fine, he really had nothing to do with it... No matter."

"Tell him seven o'clock is perfect."

"I'll let him know then. I'm sure he and Kumagoro will be thrilled."

"I hope so… Ah, one last thing..."

"Yes?"

"Do make sure all that rubbish is cleared out of here by the time we're ready to leave, will you? The last thing I need to think about is some idiot trying to court me with frivolous gifts and offers of expensive food."

"...Of course."

------

Additional Note: Uchikakae- A traditional Japanese wedding kimono. Very heavy, ornate, and expensive.


	5. In ever bitter hell

AN: N/A

-----

Kin No Saru was one of the finest restaurants to be had in Tokyo, offering a more traditional style cuisine.

And it really wasn't the sort of place you were likely to find someone like Sakuma Ryuichi having a bite to eat. Chances were he wouldn't be able to read half the menu, for all it's kanji.

Still, by the time 6:30 rolled around, he was waiting outside the N-G building wearing a cap and shades- Apparently all you really needed to serve as any sort of disguise. Tohma soon joined him, foregoing the usual cap for a more stylish cabbie hat and a pair of rounded purple shades.

At least it matched the god-awful trench coat and turtleneck.

They, of course, made it to their intended destination in near record time; Tohma had a habit of ignoring most speed regulations, and her car was just zippy enough to get by with it. She'd also found it necessary to engage in Ryuichi's playful delusions that they were being followed and take a few extra turns, alongside weaving in between a couple less enthusiastic motorists. 

The restaurant was located on the second story of a building that resided on the fringe of Inokashira Park, making it more of a tree house that served fine cuisine than anything else.

She was rather pleasantly surprised to find that Ryuichi had actually made reservations for the two of them; more than that, half the restaurant had been reserved, more to the point, the entire veranda.

That, in itself, was rather out of character for the vocalist; he loved to give attention to his fans in any situation. Though he had remarked that he thought Tohma would enjoy the peace and quiet. Certainly, she did. After the office today, she wanted nothing to do with a good deal of the world.

So the chance to look out over a bamboo garden and be waited upon as course by course came to their table was not one to be passed over.

The evening was a pleasant one, and though Kumagoro had decided not to join them (Ryuichi said he was afraid the bunny was feeling a bit put out; he had terrible allergies to flowers and had already been in the studio all day, so K had to take the poor thing home,) they engaged in one of the most animated conversations they'd had in years.

The tour was discussed at first, but Ryuichi found that Tohma was hesitant to agree with him that it needed to be picked up again and quickly changed the subject.

They both had a laugh over the way Japan seemed to have been completely turned upside down, once again by Nittle Grasper. Ryuichi offered a few of his thoughts of what to do with the individual who had sent the wedding kimono, which had Tohma remarking how surprised she was at his sinister mind.

He also suggested the first thing Tohma should do, when she arrived home, would be to present Mika with the pearls to avoid being chased from the house with any sort of cook ware by the irritated woman.

They discussed America briefly and the differences to be had in that country, the state of N-G's current business, and even a few of the more colorful stories which had been floating around in the papers lately.

Such as the claim that Tohma and Ryuichi had been married for years and were hiding it from the public to keep from wearing on any of Ryuichi's appeal. Conspiracy theorists had gone so far as to point out rings, which was ridiculous.

Ryuichi wore so many rings on his fingers that you could hardly identify them for all the silver, and Tohma wore a ring simply because she was -supposed- to be married.

To Mika.

Tohma had remarked that such was simply the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard, and it was more likely that she'd been hiding a marriage to Sakano than Ryuichi, if only because Ryuichi wouldn't possibly be able to keep his mouth shut about something like that for so long.

This was to say nothing of the fact that she would have killed him for all the 'fan-service' he performed at any given chance. Ryuichi then made a remark about Sakano enjoying such a rumor, but Tohma didn't quite catch it.

By the end of the meal, both were in considerably better moods than they had been since the day began. Ryuichi once again surprised Tohma by picking up the entirety of the check and blatantly refusing she pay so much as a single yen.

He had been in the middle of telling her about his latest movie purchase, some drawn out love story with a cast of vampires, full of all the good stuff: blood, sex, parties and betrayal; More or less suggesting Tohma could make the time to come back to his apartment to watch it with him, when he paused to hold the door open for her.

The minute he stepped outside, he found himself frozen beside her as a volley of cameras flashed before their eyes and the sounds of dozens of reporters speaking all at once surrounded them.

This was ridiculous.

He'd made absolutely sure the wait staff would keep enough of the restaurant clear, so he and Tohma could have a peaceful evening; he'd demanded secrecy. But that didn't change the fact that now they were standing in front of what had to be every major newspaper in Japan. He could almost feel the fury rising from Tohma at every intrusive question tossed in her direction.

Reaching out to take her hand, he had intended to provide some sort of comfort to his friend and found the gesture disastrous when the questions immediately switched gears, all demanding to know about the intentions of the two stars; their relationship, past and present, everything from Grasper's break up to the rumored marriage.

"No comment."

Her voice was clear and crisp. The no-nonsense way she had of speaking that would send most reporters running high-tail for Hiroshima.

But the questions kept coming, to Ryuichi, to Tohma, with no signs of stopping. She seemed to actually be a little taken aback by the blatant way they ignored her, and she repeated herself once again, one hand raised for accent.

Still the questions came.

Ryuichi's eyes became wide behind the sunglasses that still masked them, more to the fact that Tohma was actually clutching his hand at this point, almost mortified that she was still being questioned. He could easily compare her to a cat up a tree and knew quite well the media was under the same impression.

It had to be by the eighth time she had declined comment that he felt his blood begin to boil. How dare they ruin such a good evening...? He'd only just managed to cheer Tohma up enough to persuade her to watch a quasi-romantic horror film at -his- apartment, when they had to come up and bombard her with questions about her sex life.

Needless to say these questions were certainly going to be having an affect on -his- sex life.

Reaching up to snap the shades from his eyes, he narrowed them to sharp blue points, surprising even Tohma with the way his words practically dripped venom as he hissed.

"She said, 'No comment.' Are you people fucking -deaf-?"

On one account, this was quite possibly the first occasion Sakuma Ryuichi had ever denied the chance to smile for a few cameras or stepped out of any given spotlight. On another, it was the first time he had ever been heard in general public directing a curse, much less shooting a death glare, toward anyone.

And not a single member of the press could work up the nerve to snap even a shot of the famous vocalist's terrifying expression, as he pushed through the crowd, tugging Tohma along as if she were little more than a doll, the woman herself struggling to keep up.

It seemed that an angry Sakuma Ryuichi was more horrifying than any vampire you could ever have the misfortune of meeting.

The night with Ryuichi had only gotten worse.

It wasn't quite that Tohma was un-used to the press, quite the contrary. She had been in the media spotlight a good portion of her adult life; that was nothing new. But never before had anyone so much as dared to ignore her word.

Not for years in the very least...

But here had been an instance where she was looked over, as if her simple outright 'no' was nothing to them. Then Ryuichi had lost his temper, something which few people were so 'privileged' enough to have witnessed.

Though she knew Ryuichi had been attempting only to help, the effects certainly soured Tohma's mood even further, when instantly, silence was obtained, the singer taking her arm and had nearly dragged her back to the car.

As if she couldn't do such a thing herself. As if she was incapable. The press certainly wasn't listening to her. No one was at this point. Ryuichi, in all his fury, had outright told her to drive. It was about this time that Tohma had found her voice.

And now these days later almost wished she hadn't.

She and Ryuichi had certainly had their fair share of arguments, but they didn't usually escalate to such intense standards. By the time they had arrived at Ryuichi's apartment, Tohma's voice had escalated to a level just below yelling.

Maybe it was the way he had handled her that truly set her off, blatantly disregarding her comfort in his anger and yanking her about as though she were incapable of walking on her own.

Of course, what she said was that she was furious at the way he had taken such charge of the situation, as if she couldn't hold her own. Ryuichi had snapped in turn that they simply weren't listening to her, and she should just let it go. But she refused. She had to make Ryuichi understand that she didn't need to be taken care of.

She didn't need anyone's help.

Seguchi Tohma helped herself. She had for years and would continue to do so. If they didn't listen the first time or even the twenty-seventh time- then she would -make- them listen to her. She didn't need to hold his hand.

Ryuichi had been quick to snap back at this point that she certainly seemed to need it then, and he hadn't been keen on standing there listening to strangers shout about their personal lives.

It was likely the other tenants could tell you word for word just how capable Tohma was, or so she said. Equally, Ryuichi matched her volume to insist that he hadn't been suggesting anything less, and it certainly wasn't his fault the media was full of idiots.

She had no idea what possessed her to continue the argument, and she could hardly determine how it ended. Really, the only thing that was clear was that she had stormed off to her car in the end, leaving Ryuichi in a fury, and driven home to Mika.

She found her already with company; apparently, Noriko had arrived to help ward off the many deliveries being directed to the Seguchi home. The two had actually already been engaged in a highly agitated conversation about those in the world who carried the dreaded Y chromosome.

It had been a little surprising to both of them when Tohma had stormed in, door slamming behind her, all but shrieking about what an absolute bastard Ryuichi was and exactly what she intended to do to him.

Mika had been the one to set her down at the table, while Noriko made a quick dash for every sort of comfort food she could find- least someone undeserving loose their heads. Actually it was more likely she feared for Ryuichi's voice- should any of Tohma's threats carry through.

Luckily enough, the Seguchis' house held more junk food than most convenience stores.

So in one of the most cliché path's she'd ever taken, Tohma was content to sit with Noriko and Mika, polishing off a quart of mint chocolate chip. The three of them, together, started a prolific rant, which was clearly estrogen induced, about what terrible creatures men truly were.

It had been wonderful to finally express every last frayed nerve of the day, but less so when Noriko brought to her attention how expressly out of character it really was for Ryuichi to act as he had... expensive dinner, suggesting a movie...

That little bastard had conned her into a date!

He was -flirting- with her over mizore-nabe!

The thought which unnerved her most, however, had to be that she had actually enjoyed it...

Before he had to go and yank her through a sea of media flunkies. she hadn't felt undermined, hadn't been under the impression that she was considered any sort of an object. She had still felt herself viewed as an equal. It was dangerous to let her mind wander that way... Noriko had only chuckled and ruffled her hair.

It wasn't as if she didn't have her own husband under her thumb... Then again, nothing in the world seemed capable of stopping Nori-chan. Mika only gave Tohma one of her pointed looks which said that she was being a fool and missing the obvious.

Missing the obvious or not, the brief moments spent reflecting wouldn't be allowed to last. By the next morning, it was apparent that at least one of Ryuichi's neighbors had heard more than they wanted to, and papers across the country were claiming that a marriage which didn't even exist was on the rocks.

It was no help to matters that the two of them seemed to be trying to mutually avoid one another. He didn't show up to randomly ask questions about the process of making crayons, the time it took to properly cultivate and grow a crop in Sweden, or even how they got those little ships inside the bottles.

And in turn, she didn't make it a point to drop by the studio and see how the recording or writing process was going. In fact, almost no-one had seen the shachou in nearly two weeks. She came into the studio before anyone else, and as far as anyone could tell, left after the rest of them had gone home.

Really, the only way most of the employees knew she was still in the building was Sakano continually bringing in messages, or passing them on. Shuichi had once overheard him telling K that the president was furious. Calls were coming in, more or less thinly veiled threats or more so refusals to co-operate and conduct business with N-G Pro, unless the matter was discussed over lunch.

They were trying to corner her into engagements, into meetings and arrangements she blatantly refused. The company was losing business, and for it Tohma was little less than furious. In turn, company partners were enraged by her refusals and business ties on all ends were becoming frayed.

The public's opinions also were beginning to slide downhill. There was still no sign of the concert's revival, to say nothing of the general consensus that a thirty-something woman had no business running a company but should be married and doing her duties at home. So much for the Japanese woman's rising independence.

Even Mika was beginning to become worried, expressing concerns to her wayward brother.

From what Shuichi heard second-hand, not even she had seen Tohma for more than a few moments at a time. It was as if the blonde was shutting out the world and had no intentions of letting anyone in.

Tohma, herself, did nothing to quell the worry of those around her, and even now was stowed safely away in her office, standing silently in front of the large glass windows; her right palm and forehead rested against the cool glass.

Things were only getting worse... It seemed as though everyone expected her to do something more, to give them something she could never give. Mika and Sakano had been baffled simply by her having allowed the press to continue on with the truth of her gender, instead of fighting tooth and nail to have it shoved under the media carpet.

Her competitors were circling N-G as sharks, waiting for her to show any sign of weakness, so they could come in and gain all she had achieved. Really, that was what all this nonsense was about. No traditionalist man in Japan -really- wanted such a headstrong woman for a wife; they simply wanted the king-sized dowry that would come with her.

The foreign suitors wanted a good standing in Japan, a way to sink their teeth into the country and start up whatever it was they had seen fit to. And the lot of them had the gall to issue threats or continually cancel meetings which had been planned upon, only to try and reschedule them at more secluded restaurants, accepting a meeting with only the shachou, herself.

They figured to corner her by withholding possible contracts to take a stab at N-G's impressive bank account.

It was useless to try.

Even if the studio had been a silly whim, Tohma was only eccentric in her wealth because she was rich enough to do so.

N-G Pro had been created with only the smallest portion of royalties earned from her heydays as Nittle Grasper's keyboardist. Since, it had been insured and invested upon to the point of being able to hold the company out through disaster five times over. If the building exploded, that was fine; she had at least three other offices in Japan at her disposal.

To say nothing of New York or the smaller office in Hawaii.

Really, the drop in support was little less than spitting in the company's general direction. Incredibly rude, but otherwise ineffective. The toll it was taking on Tohma, however, was certainly greater than that on the company.

She still felt worn and tired, frustrated with each loss and every idiot who thought they could find a way to possess such a treasure as she was. Or as she had been... Wasn't she supposed to glow with radiance? What was this nonsense now, where she stared distantly out at the city- a city that only four short months ago, she practically owned- feeling as though the very world had boxed her in?

She had brought this on herself, of course. She refused to be bested by society; she would not step down, or even aside. This country would learn to respect her again, if it was one of the last things she ever did. Though she was sure this was merely over dramatics. But then again, hadn't she become dramatic lately?

More so than usual, anyhow.

She moved from the window, back again to sit in her office chair and quietly began to massage her numbing fingers. On the desk were a stack of canceled contracts. Another low-handed angle that had presented itself was the sudden switch of several bands to other labels. Even Bad Luck had been approached with a rather sizable offer.

Tohma had been moved enough to come out of her self-imposed exile and thank the band personally, when she heard about Shindou chasing the persistent record executive from the TV station where the band had been cornered, backed up by K, wielding his precious AK-47.

Still, most bands were not as loyal to the studio and had no problems working to request a void in contract. To this, she gave surprisingly little argument. They had lost a few well-established names, but it was better to give no argument. Once she was back on her feet, N-G would once again be the name everyone wished for.

Then, of course, those unfortunate enough to have crossed her would be floating dead in the water. So really, she had no reason to be troubled by it. But, somehow, she was. Every vocalist, every band, each transfer... They struck her like a physical blow, and left her feeling exposed.

She wasn't strong enough for this, but that never mattered. If Seguchi Tohma had made a decision, she would stand by it to the end and see it through, no matter what the partners thought, no matter the public opinion. No matter how Sakano might have advised against it had he known... No matter what... what Ryuichi may have wanted.

What would Ryuichi want? Certainly, he would not see fit for her to carry through with such an intent. 

She hadn't so much as spoken to him after the evening at dinner; she hardly dared to, for once ashamed of her actions. She had no right to speak to him in such a manner. But if she couldn't face the world, she would never be able to face him.

Was it rash to think he could possibly hate her? Ryuichi's emotions were so extreme; everything the man did he did with excess- this could be no different. If he had wanted to see her, he would have done so. But he took the same measures of avoidance.

The latest contract mocked her, no more than the stinging at the corners of her eyes. Hands folded together, head resting atop them; she tried again to steady her thoughts. So much of the world seemed against her, and every moment just went further to add to her growing stress.

With no real family to speak of and now so distanced from friends, she felt alone in the world of her own design. And such a finely crafted cage it was, gleaming metal and clear glass, the view of a skyline, of another world she no longer had place in.

The silence of her tears was only broken as each one fell against the neatly printed words on her desk. Words that told her she was incapable. Words that warned her this was the wrong course of action. Women followed their hearts so much more than men; hat was why they were viewed as less.

With this choice, which she made alone, she was less. With this choice made... her very world would soon come crashing down around her.

It was not so late in the evening when Shuichi made his way to Tohma's office. The woman had stopped answering her phones, so it fell to him to complete the task of inviting his distanced employer to their apartment for dinner. Nothing less than a plea from Mika, who prayed that Eiri could drag Tohma out of this shell... If nothing else, there was no way Tohma would ever deny her precious Eiri-kun anything he could request.

Or so they imagined, anyhow.

As his knock went unanswered, he supposed Tohma might have stepped out, or more likely was simply ignoring the door altogether. So, quietly letting himself in, he was only mildly surprised to see her sitting at her desk, head in her hands.

He couldn't quite place what seemed so odd at first, but supposed it was better not to stare, instead clearing his throat, which caused the older woman to snap up her head. She'd been crying; he could see the trails of her tears.

"...Seguchi-san...? ...Yuki," He paused when the flash of anger crossed through her eyes, and sighed softly.

"...Eiri wanted to know if you would like to come over tonight and have dinner with us... It's been a long time since he's seen you, and he won't ever admit it- but he misses you."

Eiri... missed her?

Her Eiri? 

No, no. That was the last thing she needed to go and do. Eiri simply couldn't see her in such a wretched state. She stood and moved beside her desk, forcing one of those forsaken smiles onto her face.

Shuichi could only stare at her in confusion, wondering for a moment what she had done with Tohma.

This woman before him was a wreck. She carried herself without confidence and looked as though she hadn't had a decent night's sleep in weeks, to say nothing of her state of dress. He had certainly seen Tohma wear the most ridiculous looking suits, or even feathered sweaters, but this torrid green? And he swore he'd seen it somewhere before. 

"...Seguchi-san? …Isn't that Mika-san's-"

"I borrowed it," Tohma little less than snapped, tugging subconsciously at one of the sleeves of the bulky green fabric.

The top was meant to fall off the shoulders, but it just about swallowed her small frame. Of course, she had indeed borrowed it from her beloved 'wife,' she simply hadn't asked first.

"I don't know if I could make it to dinner tonight, Shindou-san. I've quite a bit of work to get done. There's really nothing for it, no matter how you try; it just keeps growing you know."

His nervous laugh told her he really had no idea and imagined she had gone off the deep end of sanity's immense pool. Not that he'd ever imagined Tohma had all her crackers together, anyway. You can't be a celebrity and retain them- that alone would drive you crazy.

Still, to hear her deny a request from Eiri... It was a lot like someone telling you that you had suddenly gained the capability to fly. You really just stood there and stared, not believing a moment of it.

"Have you spoken with Sakuma-san, lately?"

This caught him off-guard even more than the idea that Seguchi was standing in her office looking like she crawled out of bed, wearing one of Mika's terrible sweaters, and refusing dinner with his boyfriend.

They really hadn't been speaking to one another...? He knew Ryuichi had mentioned being worried and had been waiting for Tohma to come and see him again, but had been trying to give her space. Hadn't she seen him by now?

Why did she seem so fearful of his answer? What was it on her expression that caught him so unaware? There had to be another piece to this puzzle he was missing... It was the only explanation he could think of.

"...Yeah... We're just about done with the new songs. He thinks they'll do great, when we resume the tour next month."

Any color that had been left in Tohma's face drained away as she leaned more heavily against the edge of her desk, a hand falling to rest over her stomach as the words coming from her mouth were little but a ghost of a whisper. "Next month?"

Gods, but did she look sick.

And oh, right now, she felt it too.

Sakano hadn't told her there were plans to resume the tour- Ryuichi hadn't told her... Despite her place as President, Sakano was still Grasper's manager; he made the decisions on performances. He had just never gone against her will before.

It was obvious the two had been conspiring and expected to simply throw her back out into the fray before she could protest...

She shook her head slowly, releasing a dry laugh.

"No... No, there won't be any tour next month…"

She paused before gazing quietly at the floor in front of her. Why deny the rest of them? Her own choices should not have to affect their chances of success.

"No. -I- won't be going on any tour next month."

Shuichi was taken aback by the finality of the statement.

"What? Seguchi-san, you -have- to. It's not Nittle Grasper without you- you can't have a concert featuring Nittle Grasper, if you don't even have all of Grasper!"

While he sounded incredulous, she sounded broken. Who in the world could have broken such a woman as this? What was it he was missing, why was she so broken up about a little bad press?

"I'm sorry Shindou-san, but I can't perform with you... With any of you. I'm sure you'll be able to find an appropriate replacement. If not- my cousin surely knows each piece by now."

"As much as he wants to, Fujisaki will never compare to you, Seguchi-san. It just wouldn't be the same. And all press can be good press- isn't that what they say?"

She wanted to laugh. Shindou Shuichi was coaching her. The little pink haired pop star was passionate in everything he did- it was no surprise Eiri loved him so.

"So you collapsed once- if you get some rest, which it's pretty obvious you aren't doing, you'll be fine! You just need to relax before the tour, and you can start by coming to dinner with Yuki and me."

She didn't even react this time when he used his lover's pen-name. She just smiled at him, a soft genuine smile that really didn't belong on her face.

"You're so good for him Shuichi. I'm very happy the two of you found one another."

The wheel had turned to a new era. The tapestry of life had unraveled all at once. The cosmos were in disarray. There was panic in the streets, rioting, complete and utter chaos. The end times had come.

Seguchi Tohma had complimented his relationship with Eiri and used his first name all in the same sentence.

And it was really all he could do to not stand there gaping at her like a fish.

"I was afraid he'd never find someone to love him as much as I did... I'm quite pleased to see those fears were misguided."

She turned and walked to the window, staring out over Tokyo, resting her hands behind her back. He just stood where he was, trying to figure out how she had managed to pull the rug out from under his feet. They were talking about the concert. The -concert-.

"...Tohma."

She flinched slightly at the use of her name, but in the end, she had been the one to drop formalities.

"Tohma, we can't do this concert without you.. You know as well as I do that Ryuichi won't have it. Just get back out there and play... If you keep hiding in here, the media will only get worse won't it? That's what Sakano-san said."

"Sakano-san is furious with me already."

Shuichi blinked. He'd only noticed worry, never anger. But Tohma kept talking, more to herself than anyone else. 

"He imagines I'm throwing away my career," That hollow laugh... it gave him chills. "He has no idea.. .no idea, and he can't possibly find out- I know exactly what he would suggest, and it's not an option. Not even available for consideration."

She turned back again, still smiling even as tears began to trail slowly down her face again. He wanted to run. He wanted to turn around and bolt through those doors. Whatever it was, he was sure he didn't want to know what could have Tohma reduced to tears. But he never moved, even as she walked towards him.

"I can't perform for Nittle Grasper anymore, and that's just as well. Ryuichi... He'll outright hate me for what I aim to do. But not even Ryuichi is going to change things. Not Sakano, not Ryuichi- and not Japan. Not Eiri either. I know what he'd say-"

"Seguchi-san, are you listening to yourself? Seguchi-san?"

She had turned again, now pacing in front of him, her hands fluttering around as she spoke. Definitely off the deep end.

"Tohma?"

"And now they think they can bring up the tour again, and have me play against my will... No, certainly not. I refuse to return to the stage, it just can't be done. It can't."

Her voice was becoming frantic; he knew he shouldn't be here. Someone close to her needed to be in this room, offering to pick up the pieces when she finally shattered apart, not him. He might be the last person who needed to be here.

"Seguchi-san," Something to calm her, anything at all. "Sakuma-san… I don't think he's going to hate you, I don't think he could hate anyone, if he tried. He'll be upset- we all will! Breaking up Grasper, again... Why?"

She had moved again, finally sinking into the couch on her office. Dignity was something she longed to retain and traipsing around the room like a flustered bird wasn't going to help her at all.

He approached her slowly when she didn't answer him, frowning softly. She said something quietly, which he couldn't quite make out. 

"I'm not... strong enough for this."

He kneeled down in front of her, shaking his head. Not strong enough? Tohma had to be one of the strongest people he had ever known.

"What do you mean...? For the press? So, you're a girl. Big deal. You just have to get out there and show them you're still you..."

He grinned at her, reaching out to tilt up her chin.

"You're Seguchi Tohma! Genius Keyboardist of Nittle Grasper, one of my great inspirations! Shachou of N-G Pro! You practically owned half of Tokyo, once. Why couldn't you do that again?"

She laughed softly as she reached up to close her fingers over his wrist, before gently pulling his hand away. Her own hands were shaking.

"I'm not strong enough, Shuichi... Noriko may have managed, but I could never be that strong. Not like Nori-chan."

"Like Noriko? Tohma, I don't understand. You aren't really making much sense. As far as I knew, Nori-chan never tried to pass herself off as a man; this is an entirely different ball game here."

She was still holding onto his wrist, as if he were some sort of lifeline. He pulled back, but all of Tohma came with his hand, and he had to struggle to keep balance while he caught her in his arms.

He had Seguchi Tohma clinging to him.

-The- Seguchi Tohma. Of Nittle Grasper.

It took all his efforts not to begin cackling in a thoughtless display of fan-boyish glee, and even then he only managed to refrain because of her tears, these tearing at his heart.

The way she shook reminded him of someone without hope, and he found himself wrapping his arms around her, gently reaching up to stroke her hair and aimlessly muttering soft words of encouragement.

How many times had Hiro done this very thing for him? Sat on the floor as they did now, curled together with him and promising that- at least for a little while, he would keep the world away and assure his safety. Letting him cry out all his frustrations and simply being there to listen.

Maybe that was what Tohma needed, now. Perhaps he really should be here, helping her pick up the pieces of a life she saw as shattered, listening to every fear as it came spilling against his chest with her tears.

So, he wasn't close to her. She obviously didn't want those closest to her to be near now; maybe it was better like this. Even as her sobs were swallowed away, she still held to his shirt, and he never let her go, chin resting atop her head.

Ryuichi, Sakano, the public, Eiri, Noriko. Even Mika. In the span of minutes, he had been given so much information that he could never hope to sift through it all to understand half of it, but even he could understand she felt things were so much worse than they seemed.

And it all fell back to how angry they would be with her final choice, how she simply couldn't go back to performing for Grasper.

Despite his tendency to act like a hyperactive idiot, Shuichi was really less of a fool than most people imagined him. It only took a minute or two of backtracking, before he pulled his head back, looking down at Tohma's bowed head as he spoke softly.

"This.. .has nothing to do with the press, does it..?"

"The press?" She whispered, "This has never had anything to do with the press..."

Her hands had left him now, and his eyes trailed to follow them, where they rested quietly at her middle. She had said she wasn't strong enough... not like Noriko had been. He met her eyes, when she raised her head to look at him, his own impossibly wide.

"Oh gods, Tohma..."

She returned his surprise with a sad smile. "They'll say I'm ruining everything... They'll tell me I should reconsider. Ryuichi is going to be so angry… I've ruined everything for him."

He tightened his grip around her shoulders and slowly shook his head. "No Tohma. Sakuma-san could never be angry at you for something like this..."

And if he was, Shuichi had proper mind to strangle him...

"And you're right; you aren't going to play for Grasper on tour... There isn't going to be one."

And there certainly wouldn't be. 

After all, the health of a child was certainly more important than a few performances for screaming fans.

Now, of course, the only thing they had to do-

Was tell Ryuichi.


	6. It rounds back once,it rounds back twice

AN: For the love of god. This chapter... There's not much I can say about it- except for the fact that -alot- of stuff is going on here. All at once. Some of it is only ghosted upon, but with my deepest apologies I hope you can cope with the rapid pace at which things go racing by.

And my Beta is a goddess, for she endures much pain, and stayed up with me for the god-forsaken hours in which I wrote this thing. 

Enjoy!

-----

There was something to be said about waiting for the proverbial axe to come down atop your head. About the way you'd wait with baited breath, anticipating your downfall. Messengers of kings usually felt like this, he imagined.

"What do you mean there isn't going to be a tour?"

Fujisaki's voice was guarded and calm, as he looked over his expansive keyboard at the singer who stood in the center of the studio. Even Hiro had looked up from tuning his guitar, strangely silent. K was still sitting in a chair off to the side, taking great deliberation as he cleaned one of his countless weapons.

Sakano was fidgeting with his tie, while Ryuichi stood a few feet from his rival vocalist, staring him down with a forced brightness in his smile and struggling to keep his shoulders from quaking in rage.

"Shu-chan is just being silly -no-da-."

Even K flinched at the inflection, focusing his eyes on the two and becoming ready, should he feel the need to stop unnecessary bloodshed. Shuichi, surprisingly enough, stood his ground. After the free weekend, the expectations had been to finalize details of the tour so dates could be released to the public.

It had all gone so well until Shuichi had opened his mouth ten minutes prior, telling them he wouldn't be able to perform.

"...Are things okay with you and Yuki-san, Shuichi?"

The singer turned back, more to avoid his idol's dangerous stare than anything else, choosing to focus instead on his closest friend and soothe the worry he knew was growing in his mind.

"Of course!"

So, he'd been condemned to the couch for an evening, when he failed to bring Tohma back for dinner. It was a worthy sacrifice to be made, the loss of being in his bed and his absence the night prior only resulted in him not being allowed -out- of bed the next afternoon.

"Nothing is wrong at home Hiro..."

He hesitated for a minute, eyes falling to the floor.

"...I just..." A deep calming breath... He could do this. He might not live through it- but he could do this.

"I refuse to play without Nittle Grasper- and stand behind the decision the Shachou has made to cancel the tour."

Ryuichi's eyes narrowed now, a quiet growl rumbling in the back of his throat. He couldn't control the shaking of his shoulders any longer. Now, Tohma was pulling other performers into his tantrum.

"That's just... -it-," he declared, turning around on his heel, and beginning to march out of the studio, ignoring Shuichi's sudden cries behind him.

"No! Wait! Sakuma-san, Sakuma-san! You don't understand!"

He was tired of this.

He'd been compassionate. Understanding. By all rights he should have been furious; he had every right to be. Tohma was his best friend... and she'd lied to him. They were supposed to trust one another with their lives, and here she couldn't trust him with such a simple secret. And now she saw fit to tear them further apart because she couldn't bring herself to face the world.

She'd had three months to relax, to get used to the public breathing down her neck, and all she had done was shut herself up in that goddamn office. Capable? That wasn't capability; it was cowardice, cowardice pure and simple- and he wasn't going to let her hide behind her desk any longer.

He heard the foot-steps behind him, as Shuichi had a surprising struggle to keep up with Ryuichi's furious pace.

"Sakuma-san! Please, calm down- it's not good for anyone, if you get angry with her, she...surely has reasons for wanting this!"

His voice was ringing in his ears, pleading and desperate.

"Maybe you should try looking at things from her perspective!"

"Her perspective?" He hadn't quite meant to snap at the poor boy as he had. Poor innocent Shuichi, a pawn in Tohma's vile manipulations.

"NO, Shuichi. I'm tired of this. It's not about perspective, it's not about reason. It's just Tohma being a little bitch. She says she's independent, that she doesn't need help from anyone. That people shouldn't treat her like...like..."

He faltered slightly, not quite sure of the words he was searching for.

"Like a princess in a tower, waiting for her white knight to come and rescue her!"

Shuichi had to stop short, as had Ryuichi, both of them now in front of the doors to the main office. The elder of the two growled again, both embarrassed by his choice of words and flustered by the confused expression the younger man was giving him.

"Well...well... SCREW THAT!" He bellowed out, sending the interns and employee's that had been milling about scattering away and making themselves scarce behind desks or any available furniture, many heading for way of the stairs, weary of the impending Sakuma-fit.

"I'm no white knight, Tohma! That's for damn sure, and you- you're no princess! And I'm sure as hell not here to rescue you!"

Stomping forward, he left Shuichi gaping behind him, throwing the doors of Tohma's office open with a flourish.

"I'm here to drag your un-shiny ass back to the studio, so you can get to work making my music, whether you like it or -NOT-!"

She'd been pouring over a series of contracts and documents for nearly three hours, and it was beginning to be a little trying. Having to fight the urge to simply fall asleep from the lack of interest in... Well, actually, she wasn't even sure of what she was looking at by this point. Everything had become little more than blurred figures on the paper. It was like trying to get a cat to read Aramaic; it just didn't work.

Earlier, her recently favored leather trench coat had been draped across the back of her chair, after signifying to the various office personnel her wish to go undisturbed. It wouldn't be long before she would have to face Sakano, or perhaps she could simply trust Mika to it... After all, her beloved wife was getting tired of having random articles of clothing up and disappear on her. As much love as she held for Mika, the woman had no sense of style, and Tohma would be damned before she'd walk the streets of Tokyo looking pregnant -and- poorly dressed.

Until then, she'd simply have to cope with having sweaters that fit a bit too snug. ...Yes, it was likely about time she broke down to Mika... or maybe Noriko. One of them would surely be willing to endeavor on a classified shopping trip for her. There was, of course, always the option of buying online...

Shuichi could pick up any packages, to lower the risk of suspicion. She let a smile play across her lips for a moment, shaking her head. As much of an idiot as the boy seemed to be, his heart really was in the right place... Having him there had lifted a weight from her shoulders, and his optimistic way of looking at the world had served to bring her spirit up as well.

Not that she was ready to go out and tell the world she intended to be a single mother... alongside ruling N-G with a fist encased in velvet.

He hadn't reprimanded her decision; in fact, she might go as far to say he supported it. It was welcome to see how very different the younger man could be, when he wasn't running around in silly costumes or crying rivers. He was actually very sensible... so much more like Ryuichi than most would ever know, and perhaps, truly the only being capable of bringing her precious Eiri out of his personal hell.

She'd been so deep in her musing, that she almost didn't hear the shouting coming toward her. It hit like a shockwave following sound of the door's flying brutally into the poor office walls. Tohma shot up from her seat in surprise, eyes widened as Ryuichi came storming into her office, all fire and fizzing cola, waving his arms at her as he shouted.

("I'm here to drag your un-shiny ass back to the studio so you can get to work making my music, whether you like it or -NOT-!") echoed about the room to be met only by stunned silence.

Blue eyes, which had been narrowed to such fine points, faltered, and a look of confusion took the place of rage, as he found his eyes affixed solidly to her chest.

Tohma's own eyes were still wide, glittering with the fright, which had been set upon her by the unexpected entry and ranting star. Collecting her thoughts took more effort than she would have liked, and she moved away from the desk slowly with Ryuichi's eyes following each tentative step.

Only vaguely was she aware of Shuichi slowly creeping up to the doorway and shutting himself and the rest of the world out so as to leave the two a more fitting space to talk, without so many curious ears.

Tohma's voice was quiet, and filled with hesitation.

"...Ryuichi-san...?"

The look he had focused her with was as if she was completely unrecognizable to him... Had she really changed so much in the weeks past? Self-consciously, she wished for the return of her coat. The feel of being exposed was not one she had ever appreciated, and the bulk of leather would offer comfort and security.

"...When the hell did that happen?" Ryuichi asked, his tone still sharp, though it seemed to be losing some of its edge as he indicated her chest, or more, the size of it.

Eyes tracing her figure once again from head to foot, she shifted slightly, wishing to escape them. The expression softened, and Ryuichi flashed her a bright smile, going so far as to giggle as he broke the tension in the room with an audacious, "I told you not to eat so many junky things, Tohma-kun! Look, you've gotten fat!"

She blinked at him in surprise, color drawing itself up into her face. Ryuichi shook his head slowly, the childish façade slipping away, letting her know he wasn't at all stupid. And he certainly wasn't blind.

"...You never told me," he began softly, "When did you find out?"

She took in a breath, hesitating for a moment before she answered him just as softly.

"Yamanashii... That night, when they ran the blood work..."

He took a breath of his own, closing his eyes and giving a slow nod, letting the information process for a moment before asking further, "Is there a reason you didn't think you should tell me..?"

Again, she hesitated, having moved back to sit behind her desk and gaze back at the papers upon it, no longer able to keep her eyes on his face and the hurt residing there.

"I was..." It sounded so unreasonable now when she spoke to him, as if it were the most foolish thing in the world she could have done. "I was afraid of what you might say... Of what you would do..."

Afraid you'd hate me forever, she added silently.

"So, are you going to kill me?"

She looked up again, startled by the sad affection in his voice, the way he was smiling at her as he teased.

"...what?" A shake of her head, "N...no! Of course not...don't be silly- it's as much my fault as yours..."

He nodded, more out of acknowledgment than any agreement with her words.

"Tohma," he breathed in, "What are you gonna do?"

The question held a thinly veiled fear, an insecurity which she found discomforting in his normally sure voice.

Even if confused, Ryuichi should never sound unsure.

"You've known me long enough, Ryuichi... I always finish anything I start." A soft smile given to him in return. "I'm going to have this baby... and I'm going to keep it. No matter what the consequences may be... it's the decision I've made, and nothing will change that... I..."

She hesitated.

"I hope you can accept that."

He nodded once, letting his eyes close again... "...I need some time, Tohma... Time to think."

"...take all the time you need, Ryuichi."

"Wait for me, will you?"

Turning back, he quietly made his way out the doors, shutting them behind him with care this time and leaving Tohma sitting silently behind her desk.

He met Shuichi by the elevator, where the young singer had obviously been waiting for some sort of grand disaster, and neither spoke as they made their way back to the studio.

On arrival, he simply shook his head at the two managers, who watched him expectantly.

"The tour is canceled."

No more. No less. And everyone knew better than to question the words of Sakuma Ryuichi. Sakano began to approach him, but he simply held up a hand.

"...I'm heading out for the day..." His eyes narrowed briefly at the blonde American. "And I'm not to be followed. But I want you to take care of Tohma-kun."

He paused by the door, his head lowered so bangs covered his eyes. "...One more thing, Manager-san. If you could, make sure she eats something besides cheap sushi."

And without another word, he was gone.

Since any further recording or really anything of that sort was obviously off the rest of the day's schedule, Shuichi had tagged along behind his former producer-turned Grasper's-manager, in hopes of playing potential referee for whatever battle might ensue.

He hadn't dared to ask Ryuichi what had occurred between Tohma and himself, but he was willing to perform whatever damage control he could, should it be called upon.

Things actually went a lot better than he expected them to.

Instead of the flailing, sobbing hysterics he imagined, Sakano just looked... Angry. Angry and decidedly calm about it. Tohma regarded him quietly with her eyes set, matching the stare which had been centered in her direction, almost as if they were each daring the other to challenge them, to say the first words.

Then, Sakano gave a nod and turned around, taking the few short steps outside to his own desk.

Shuichi had only blinked in confusion as he put out a few calls, placing orders for what must be one hell of a late lunch. Tohma just met his confused expression with a light shrug, aware she would have plenty of explaining to do.

Indeed, an hour later would see Shuichi witness to watching Tohma be effectively scolded over and over again about how irresponsible she had been. Everything was covered, from damage to her career, to damage to her health... Though it was obvious that Sakano was more concerned about her well-being than the effect this would have on her pocket book or even public opinion.

He watched as Sakano rattled off a list of things that needed to be done: over-haul in diet, routine, exercise, purchase of this or that. He had somehow, miraculously become a walking textbook on the health of expectant mothers.

The singer had to wonder if, in all his neurotic paranoia, the man had planned for something like this.

All the while, Tohma looked incredibly bored but remarkably tolerant. Shuichi imagined it had something to do with already being preoccupied with the gracious lunch. Being so fortunate as to share it with her, he was fairly sure he would have been in the same state of apathy, had it been him. You just couldn't be angry, when you were treated to a five star meal. It would be like getting disappointed by winning the lottery.

Demands were made for her to inform those closest to her, before anything got too far out of hand- or more to the point, to simply allow them to be there for her as they should have been all along. Friends and family.

It was obvious that the idea of this situation being kept from him hurt Sakano quite a bit, and Shuichi knew it had next to nothing to do with pride. Tohma too seemed to have decided, rather suddenly that it would indeed be a suitable time to say something... He supposed the random change of heart had something to do with the way Ryuichi had left... Or perhaps it was just hormones.

Whatever it was, he felt comforted in the fact that no one was crying, screaming, or issuing death threats... And in this business, that was always a bonus.

Then, sinking into the sofa in her office and putting his head in his hands, Sakano simply told her to go home for the day, to relax, and that he would take care of things at the studio. It may have shocked all three of them, when Tohma quietly agreed to the idea and collected her coat, offering to also drive the young vocalist back to his apartment. She stopped only to lean down and press a gentle kiss to the top of Sakano's head, whispering her thanks.

Shuichi agreed to the ride home, having never driven with Tohma before. He found out soon enough, however, that her driving skills certainly left something to be desired, if you liked to keep your stomach in it's proper place and not have it jumping up into your throat.

He had a sneaking suspicion that Seguchi-san had been the one to teach a much younger Eiri to drive. But where Eiri tended to break the speed limits and attempt to surpass sound only when highly stressed, Tohma seemed to just do so for the hell of it.

She liked to drive in such a manner that her passenger had to be pried away from the ceiling and door, when the car had stopped, as they had frozen there in attempts to gain some sense of solid ground. And, apparently, she enjoyed making random halts at the slightest thought. He had to wonder if she did this very often, or if it was just because he was there to listen. But she also enjoyed just... speaking her mind.

Shuichi found out quickly that he had no desire to hear a good portion of what was said during the trip, as much of it was either none of his business or held far too much detail for his taste. So, he was almost grateful when both the car and Tohma stopped with a squeal.

"Eiri-san needs cake!"

He wanted to tell her that no, Eiri-san did not need cake, and Shuichi certainly needed to be driven at a speed that didn't range up in the hundreds, but he found himself only able to stare at her with violet eyes the size of saucers, as she patted him atop the head with a delighted giggle and climbed out of the car.

"You wait here, Shindou-san. I'll be right back."

... All that he could think at this point was that Seguchi Tohma had just... giggled at him.

It was not even five minutes later, including the time it had taken Seguchi to hop into the bakery and purchase the cake, when Shuichi was rushing down the hall toward the bathroom, looking rather green. He left Tohma behind in the front doorway, holding a box out to Eiri and brandishing a million yen smile.

"We stopped by for your favorite, Eiri-san!"

Eiri regarded her silently, cigarette dangling from the corner of his lips, before he turned around and headed off to the kitchen, feeling the urgent need for another beer. He couldn't be sure why just, yet, but imagined it would be much better to handle this particular visit while mildly intoxicated.

Tohma simply closed the door behind her as she came in.

Hours had passed.

Hours in thought, in silence.

And in the dark, no less.

It had started to rain outside. You could hear the droplets as they hit the roof above, but he hardly cared, laid out on his back over the floor, one hand behind his head and the other thrown over his eyes. He could feel the gaze of his companion set on him and took comfort knowing they were alone here, that no one would think to find them.

The lights above the stage were cool, but he could recall so easily a time, when they seared his skin. He could still hear the crowd screaming wildly for him... For them. Like they were a last fleeting hope, the only color left in the world...

The Ruido truly was home away from home, a comfort in its empty walls with the echo of so much music- so much energy in such a small space. Lives changed in this place... And here, his own life was changing.

It had already changed, hadn't it?

Finally daring to break the silence which had set across the empty room, he voiced the one question which had been repeating itself over and over again in his mind. Softly, it escaped his lips, freeing the way for more words to come.

"What do I do?"

He turned his head, arm falling away from his eyes to lay across his chest, while he fixed the plush rabbit which sat across from him with a pleading look.

"We didn't plan for this, Kumagoro... Tohma-kun was just supposed to get tipsy, so we could have fun- so all those pesky 'obligations' didn't matter anymore..."

Blowing bangs from his eyes, he sighed. "Stupid obligations..."

There was a pause, and he rolled onto his side.

"Well, it's not as if I expected him to be a –girl,- Kumagoro. You don't just walk up to people and ask them, 'Oh, by the way- before I get you smashed, are you really a boy?' That would just be rude."

A huff.

"Why didn't we stop? Well… I just... I mean, I suppose we could have- but I didn't want- and, well, she certainly didn't want- ...You're too young to hear this sort of thing, Kuma! You shouldn't even ask."

"No, I don't care how old you are in -bunny- years; this is adult stuff, and you'd only go on about how squicky it was, if I -did- tell you. Besides, I think Tohma would get mad and throw something at me again, if I said anything. Girls are all weird when it comes to stuff like this."

Rolling onto his stomach, he traced circles idly across the stage floor, while kicking his legs out behind him absently. His voice became rich but remained soft, and still he talked to his pink-furred companion.

"You know I haven't made a plan for this... I've never made a mistake like that before; I guess maybe, maybe I just wasn't thinking. But how could you expect me to? It's Tohma. Tohma is... special."

"...Just about as special as you, Kumagoro."

Because I love her just as much...

A slight smile crossed his lips at the thought but fell quickly after, and he shook his head sharply.

"It just... It hurts that she didn't tell me... I mean, she's having a baby! And that's great right? Babies are good- sure they cry a lot, and can't hold a good conversation. They demand your attention, and you spend the rest of your life taking care of them... But still. People want them, right? She wants to keep it. Can you see that, Kuma? Tohma-kun running around, taking care of a baby?"

He paused. "Yes, I -know- she takes very good care of Eiri-san, but this is different!"

"Don't ask me how. It's not fair, when you know I don't have an answer."

Sitting up again, he pulled his knees against his chest, resting his chin atop them.

"Heh... She's really going to have a baby..."

Tohma would like that. She needed people around her she could take care of. She needed to feel important... He stopped his thoughts, raising his head to stare at Kumagoro, who had interrupted them.

"...We?"

The single word made his mind spin, and for a minute all he could think about was just how pretty Tohma looked each time the two of them were together... the way her eyes sparkled like lights or her hair looked like it had glitter all spun through it in the right amount of shadow. The way that when it was directed to him, her smile was real and set his stomach to be filled with butterflies.

Suddenly, he fell back again, laughing brightly, even as his head bumped into the stage, pink bunny falling over in exasperation.

"I'm gonna be a dad, Kumagoro! That's...that's just so -weird-! Can you believe it?"

Kumagoro made some remark about the end of the world, but Ryuichi didn't catch it. He was soon up again, collecting the rabbit into his arms and cuddling it vigorously, his laughter filling the empty club. "I'm going to have Tohma-babies!"

He ignored whatever uncomplimentary thing the rabbit muttered, just cuddling his friend all the more. "This...this is even better than ice cream!"

Utter Blasphemy!

Then, for a moment he froze, and the plush fell from his arms, thankful for the sweet air that filled its stuffing lungs once again...

"Do you think I should marry her?"

If he hadn't been struggling to regain brain function after near death by Ryuichi-hug, Kumagoro might have said a few not so nice things about his mentality.

"That's what people do, isn't it? They get married, have kids- So, we did things backwards- it's not so bad..."

"See, Kumagoro? It's not so bad!"

No, no, it was just that much worse.

He leaped to his feet, snapping up the plush by the ears in the process. He spun around, doing his own demented victory dance for the non-existent audience, sing-songing his happiness.

"We're having Tohma-babies! We're having Tohma-babies!"

He felt like shouting it to all of Tokyo, but figuring that would get him in some serious trouble worthy of Tohma's best and sternest of glares, settled for leaping from the stage and taking off in a run, pausing only to stuff Kumagoro safely away in his jacket to protect him from the rain.

Maybe he really should have taken the bus or called a car, but his feet just refused to stop, beating against the pavement with a mind of their own, their destination already set.

By some miracle of determination, he managed to make his way through the streets in the pouring rain, the smile never falling from his face and laughter still bubbling up from his chest. He stopped for a moment to simply swing around a light pole, ignoring Kumagoro's demands for the insanity to stop.

How could it ever stop? He felt like he could fly at this moment. His best friend in the world, next to his treasured bunny, was having a baby. Having -his- baby. It just didn't get any more shiny-shiny than that!

He wasn't even the slightest bit tired as he ran up the drive, soaked through near to the bone, hair plastered against his head. Ringing the doorbell with furious abandon, he could hardly contain his giggles.

Late in the evening as it was, Tohma had shot out of bed in a fury, catching Mika in the hall and holding up a hand. Stalking forward in silk pajama's, she was determined to make short work of whatever idiot found it so necessary to brutally assault someone's doorbell at any given hour of the night.

She was certainly not prepared, however, for the delighted cry of her name from the water-logged individual on her doorstep, and Ryuichi gave her not even the chance to speak, as he threw his arms around her, trapping her lips in a passionate kiss.

From behind them, leaning against the wall in her nightgown, Mika could only smile and shake her head before turning away to go and collect a few towels.

It aimed to be a very, very long night.

And it certainly would be.

After the initial roaring fit Tohma had thrown about A: Ryuichi running around in the rain like a fool; B: Ryuichi coming to her door twenty minutes past eleven -after- running around in the rain like a fool; And, lastly, C: Ryuichi attacking her in her living room, sopping wet, ruining her precious silk pajamas, and getting water all over the carpet.

Mika, the good and sensible woman that she was, had returned to them with towels and the offer to get something warm to drink. This was likely the action that saved Ryuichi's life.

Now with wet clothes being set for drying and in considerably less rain-soaked wear, though they had found Ryuichi looked more than a little out of place in Tohma's clothes. To the point where everyone had given up trying to find something suitable, and in a fury Mika had simply thrown one of her own longer shirts at the singer with a few creative threats.

Tohma was sitting rigidly on the couch, cup of hot chocolate in hand, as Ryuichi set about to snuggle against her as if she were the most comfortable thing in the world. For her part, Mika took it all in stride and silently felt her dearest 'husband' deserved such unease for neglecting to mention four months ago that they'd be dealing with a whole lot more than issues to their imaginary marriage.

'By the way, Mika-love, I forgot to tell you. I'm pregnant. I hope you don't mind. What shall we have for dinner this evening?'

And if not that, she deserved it for trying to sneak off with her favorite sweater.

For the next several hours, the two women would play a captive audience to Sakuma's narrative of how absolutely wonderful babies were and how Kumagoro and he had come to this discovery. Alongside this was his long list of praises for Tohma and her own wonders, which had the poor woman turning all sorts of interesting colors, at many points either severely disturbed or greatly embarrassed.

It was certainly established rather quickly, however, that Ryuichi felt he had a place in the future of this child. Though it was uncertain to Mika, or even Tohma, herself, whether the mother-to-be found this a comfort or not.

Despite the unease she seemed to be in the evening, it did not go unnoticed by the eldest of the Uesugi children that when finally calling the time for bed and Tohma rose up to bid goodnight, Sakuma was still mostly attached to her side. Or that he remained so the entire way into her bedroom.

Or that the door shut.

Behind them both.

Mika allowed herself a small smile, and continued to sip at her cocoa.

Well. It was certainly aiming to be a long night for some.

Over the course of the next few weeks, it was a little more than obvious to those close to them, and even some who weren't, that Sakuma Ryuichi, and Seguchi Tohma were becoming an item.

Not that 90 of the population hadn't already figured this out and imagined it to be fact for years.

Though the press had been rather low-key as of late, having effectively been scared into submission by Ryuichi's moment of fury, there was enough coverage of the couple seen in public to get the idea across.

Not surprisingly, this caused an almost instantaneous halt to the gifts being sent to Tohma's home and office.

Not that she would ever complain, of course.

For all the world, the two seemed like any normal couple, though by standards of Japan they were a bit more close-contact than standard said they should be. Excuses, of course, were made, and this was easy to overlook. After all, they were rock stars. And Ryuichi had surely been tainted by all his time in the land of cowboys and Mickey Mouse.

Ryuichi seemed to find this 'dating' thing the most delightful game he'd ever played. All the while, Tohma hardly cared, as Ryuichi's attitude to her never changed. It seemed as though all they'd done was add sex to an already near-perfect equation.

And neither of them saw fit to complain about that.

In fact, the only ones complaining were a select few of Nittle Grasper's more obsessive fans.

Tatsuha had cried plaintively, showing up on the Seguchi's doorstep and threatening to end his life, until his sister beat him firmly about the head.

In the end, he wished the 'happy' couple well and suggested that his broken heart and shattered soul, though never able to fully heal, may just be helped along by a home video or two. Nothing much to ask, since he was practically family and all.

Ryuichi had only looked confused, and Tohma had threatened to call Fujisaki to let him know the other boy was in town. The young monk had chosen that moment to conveniently remember an earlier appointment and made his exit rather swiftly.

Tohma would frequently accept Ryuichi's invitations to dinner or even simply a suggestion of renting videos and digging into pop-corn with fervor. Mika was hardly surprised after the first few evenings, more often than not, Tohma neglected to return home, sometimes not showing up at home until the next evening after work.

It had taken him quite a bit of courage, but on one of these nights, over dinner, he had finally worked up the nerve... well, no. To be truthful, the two of them had been laughing, when he had stopped and smiled at her, shaking his head as he noticed again, just how pretty she was... It simply slipped from his lips like the notes of a song.

"Marry me."

She had just smiled at him, stood up from her seat, and walked over to lean down and brush a kiss across his forehead, before leaving him there in the restaurant.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She had said.

And she had.

Over and over again. Every time, his question was ignored. Never a no, never a yes.

He finally fell to realize he should simply stop asking, and so the two would continue as they were. Nothing changing. It was assuredly kept that way, for each time Ryuichi would call against something Tohma had done, snap or demand she do something different, she would simply get up and leave. It hardly mattered where they were or what they were doing.

He'd found that out the hard way.

And then she would be gone and not return to him until he had come crawling into her office, apologizing with sincerity for acting like a chauvinistic idiot and thinking he could tell her how to run her life. It really wasn't that hard to apologize. Forget what it did to his ego, the make-up sex was well worth it.

Of course, there were other things that needed to be done, aside from going out to dinner, watching movies, or copious amounts of snogging on whatever piece of furniture was available at the time.

This became obvious, when Tohma could no longer find anything which would fit correctly, and Mika outright demanded she stopped stealing her things. A few prolific curses and threats about wringing necks with stolen bras had the two Graspers running for their lives, early one afternoon.

Ryuichi thought it was nothing but fun, all of Tohma's silly fussing and complaining about this and that.

Watching her struggle with the vile entrapment had almost reduced him to rolling laughter, the first time he'd been witness to it.

The routine of a dancer had kept Tohma's figure lean and had helped in her years of masquerade. Though, even aside from this, she hadn't had quite so much to speak of for this particular aspect of her form. It might potentially be disappointing to a lover, but for Tohma, having less of a chest than most simply meant less to get in the way.

Not that Ryuichi minded, of course; he didn't care if she lacked cleavage or not, but that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate what was there. After all, breasts -were- the greatest toys known to man.

Tohma, however, found need to argue, as the increase in size meant the actual need for the vile invention usually made of lace and took just as much effort to get off as some of Ryuichi's more sinful leather pants took to get on.

So, on seeing her valiant battle before retreat into the nest of covers that housed his bed, Ryuichi had for one occasion, in the very least, come to her rescue as knight in shining jewelry. Whereas his lover had been standing and cursing for a good five minutes, it took him all of five seconds to free the tricky clasps.

"Like magic." He'd said, wiggling his fingers.

Mika's threat was nearly carried through that night, replicated by Tohma's own hands. In the end, however, the bra was just settled for use as a mostly in-effective whip.

He'd begged mercy and received it in abundance.

When Tohma was finally unable to tolerate her lack of style anymore, it had been decided upon that the couple would risk a shopping trip. Kumagoro had the sense of mind to suggest to Ryuichi that he call Nori-chan.

Not only was Nori-chan the smartest woman he'd ever met, but she knew all about those good baby things, having once had a baby herself, of course.

It would certainly help both Tohma and Ryuichi, if at least -someone- on this trip knew what they were doing. They were less likely to cause disaster that way...or so the theory went.

Noriko was only too happy to join the two, once again, for a day on the town. It would be like old times, the three of them causing chaos, running amuck, and having more fun than one would think legally possible.

This time, however, it would be in the maternity section of a high class boutique.

It took the efforts of both Ukai and Sakuma to persuade their wayward friend to leave the house, as despite original vows of cooperation, she blatantly refused at first to be seen shopping for such things in public. In the end, reason won out, though it may have had a little bit of assistance from Ryuichi simply picking Tohma up and carting her over his shoulder, as if she weighed next to nothing.

For being shorter and lighter than she, he was a sturdy little bastard.

After her unceremonious kidnapping and a fair amount of bitching in Noriko's car, Tohma begrudgingly went along with the idea and joined Noriko in sifting through dozens upon dozens of pricey tops and bottoms. The two continually bickered due to Tohma's insistence that she'd not be caught dead in a skirt for anything less than wedding or funeral.

This was too froppy, that was too skimpy. That looked like it was those other three there chopped apart and stitched together. It was something dreadful, trying to determine something to Tohma's unique taste, and they were all just lucky no budget was to be had.

Ryuichi was left to his own devices while the women clucked and fussed over clothing, which hardly needed his opinion. His own devices apparently included making curious eyes at some of the lingerie.

It was about this time that things truly started to go downhill.

Gathering up and presenting a few of the better choices to Tohma, he received a swift fwap over his head and a light scolding from Noriko. A whine that he was only trying to help prompted Nori-chan to suggest he look at the actual clothes.

Unfortunately, Tohma didn't share his taste in many things, and after the eighth terrible sequin plastered frilled dress, she had spat that if he found it so appealing, he should try it on himself.

So, naturally, he did.

Somehow, instead of causing the mortification one might expect, and despite the sheer terror it caused the other customers, having Ryuichi pout at her in a gaudy sequin and rhinestone dress only sent Tohma into a fit of laughter.

Noriko figured the two had lost their minds already, and that the last resort left to her was simply to join them in their madness.

Soon, the trio had one another going through every other garment in the store, turning the dressing rooms into little more than a distorted fashion runway, as they modeled in turn. Spinning around, they gave a mockery of a show, complete with commentary, cat-calls, and insults alike.

It was about the time Ryuichi and Tohma had gone about devising the best way to construct a sling-shot from a bra that the manager finally brought up the courage to politely ask them to leave. They were disturbing the other socialites, after all.

So, the trio consented, doing so with bright and innocent smiles, after paying for what could easily be a wardrobe for six women.

However, it would be not two minutes after they had left that Ryuichi came tearing back in to retrieve the items which had earlier earned him injury. Paying the clerk and leaving with the most satisfied smile he could, the vocalist damn near skipped his way back to his companions.

Left behind in the dressing room, of course, was a massive chain of bra's craftily hooked together into an impossible puzzle ball.

A fitting parting gift from Nittle Grasper, if ever there was one.

With spirits high and arms full of bags and boxes, there was little left to be done for the afternoon but stop and have lunch, or so Nori-chan declared with fervor. The café was a stylish little thing, offering the sorts of food Ryuichi had never heard of but supposed was edible… After all, the girls were eating it.

He, himself, had yet to try, content to look out at the world from tinted lenses, as Noriko sipped at her Coke.

"You two- I was beginning to think you'd never get together... It's about damn time."

Tohma looked up at her with a curious gaze and offered only a light shrug, while Ryuichi continued to rest his chin in his hand, staring out at the people passing by on the sidewalk.

"All things come in time..." He muttered absently.

Tohma snorted delicately. "Yes, he had to go off and get me drunk, first."

"Hnn," was Ryuichi's only reply, as he tilted his head sideways slowly, watching a couple girls from the local high school walk by, pleated skirts swaying around their legs. Come to think of it... He shifted his eyes behind his glasses to look over at his lover, currently giving her full concentration to... whatever it was she had ordered for lunch.

He'd never seen Tohma, when she was in high school... Maybe he could just...

"...Say, Tohm-AAA!"

Ryuichi gave little less than a shriek as Noriko leaned over, turning her glass of ice filled cola directly over his lap.

"Don't you even think about it."

Beside her, never looking up from the mess of green he imagined was a salad, Tohma only snickered.

Yep.

Definitely the smartest woman he'd ever met.


	7. For man is of cruel mind

AN:

My beta puts up with way too much shit. She deserves more praise than I do. On 6/19- 'The Elusive Y' broke 100 pages in wordpad- with 38,198 words.

Shows me what I get for having the notion to write a silly crackfic.

Enjoy!

_On 10-14, the author realized that she hadn't updated the version of this fanfic, and promptly felt the need to commit hiri-kiri. ... I am SO sorry, to anyone reading this..._

-------

Mika was most definitely not a morning person.

Her husband, however, or whatever you really wanted to call her, was quite the opposite. Usually up at six a.m; ready for work and out the door to run the world like every good Japanese man should. Then again, Seguchi Tohma wasn't a man.

So, it was quite unusual to find her in the kitchen, sitting quietly at the table with a bit of toast and a glass of some unknown fruit juice. A sleepy blink proved that no, the blonde woman was still there at ten, having breakfast like she truly did belong in this house that the two had shared for nearly four years.

"I'm surprised to see you here so late..."

Finally drawing up her voice from its 'I haven't had my coffee, yet, and want to kill you,' manner, she wandered towards the counter and set to making some. Her one true friend after Ryuichi had gone on his tirade about how Mika's smoking could potentially hurt the baby.

The vocalist had done so, of course, without Tohma's knowledge, using his newly acquired key - the very key which the Uesugi woman had given him - to storm in and commandeer every last pack. With Eiri's recent episodes of fury as evidence, she was under the impression that he too had been under attack by vocalist, this one sporting pink hair and hot-pants.

"Can't I go in late every so often, Mika-love?"

Making a non-committal sound and resuming her shuffle around the kitchen for something she might consider edible, she paused only to glance back at Tohma, who was still delicately attacking the piece of plain toast as if it were God's gift on earth. She rolled her eyes and set to work making enough for two. "What do you want?"

Common sense told her it was acceptable to sound like a bear at this hour. Especially when the woman at the table looked up with her with that, 'I'm adorably naïve,' expression she was so fond of using on business partners.

"Want?"

She just about scowled, shaking her head in relative disgust again.

"To eat, you ass. I'm offering to make you breakfast. Unless you've just been sitting here for the past five minutes, casting subtle glances in my direction because you have the intention of eating -me-."

The expression on Tohma's face faltered for a brief moment with surprise, but it was quickly brushed away as she scrutinized the equipment Mika had already dredged out of the cupboards. Rice and Miso seemed perfectly plausible...

"I'd be perfectly willing to share with you, Mika-love, but if you would be so willing, fried eggs, a little more toast, Umeboshi, and maybe some-"

Whirling around to point a spoon at her, free hand on her hip, Mika had to refrain from snarling. "Do I -LOOK- like a short-order cook to you?"

The woman at the table coughed and went back to staring down at the day's newspapers, scanning over them.

"...Where is he?"

"Mmm?"

"Oh, don't give me that. Your idiot, where is he?"

Green eyes flickered up once more in a curious manner. "Since when did he become -my- idiot?"

The other woman just gave a snort. "Since you decided to keep him."

A light shrug and a mumble about the latest baseball game was all she gave in reply, and Mika took this to mean that Ryuichi had either disappeared early in the morning or was still sound asleep in Tohma's bed.

Since the night he saw fit to come tearing in out of the rain, time discovered that little kept Sakuma Ryuichi from something he wanted. So, more often than not, if Tohma wasn't over at the singer's apartment staring at cheaply made horror movies the night through, Ryuichi would come knocking at the Seguchi's door. Whether he'd been around that day or not.

Eternally tired of being woken up in the late evening or early morning hours to Ryuichi wailing like a cat on the steps, Mika had taken the liberty of getting him a key. This way, neither woman would spend the night nor next morning wanting to dislodge the head of any male they saw from the shoulders it rested on, and Ryuichi could sneak into Tohma's bed.

By now, she had to wonder if the blonde even noticed anymore.

Actually, she had to wonder a lot of things about Tohma. She would have liked to say her friend had changed, but honestly, she hadn't. If anything, she'd only lost most of the reservations she tended to display in most situations, not to mention the way the shadow that had been brought on by the fated time in New York was slowly fading away. She truly was shining again, as Ryuichi might say.

Watching her now, happily making short work of the pickled sweet plums, Mika could hardly hold back her indiscretion with a light laugh.

"The women of the world should hate you."

Looking up with a start, a bit of sticky rice held mid-air in the polished lacquer chop-sticks, another clueless blink was afforded her.

"...Eh?"

Mika laughed again and shook her head.

"You managed to by-pass every last bit of morning sickness, and I've yet to see any sort of mood-swing, aside from your usual temper. A lot of women would kill for that, you know." She stood to begin clearing away a few plates with another shake of her head.

"You should teach him to cook, Tohma. I'm not here to scrub your floors and make your meals."

A smile passed between the two women, reaching their eyes with that same quiet appreciation. "Of course not, Mika-san. I do all the cooking, anyhow."

"Of course." She echoed, a kiss gently placed atop Tohma's forehead, before she moved back to her own seat. Such a perfect marriage. It was truly a shame it would have to finally come to an end.

"Will you be going in today, at all?"

"...Do you have anything else planned, my dear Mika?"

"Sakuma is good for you, isn't he? He's turned you into some strange affectionate thing; I'd almost venture to say it's frightening."

"Wasn't I always affectionate?"

"As much as stone, my love." She smiled still, shaking her head to signify the verbal stab was to be taken in the most caring of ways. "Honestly, I have some errands to run this afternoon and was wondering if you'd consider joining me."

"I'd love to, Mika-san."

And truthfully, she would enjoy a little time spent with the Uesugi woman, not having had the pleasure in quite a while. Ryuichi had been dragged out in the early morning by a call from his partner in crime, and the two vocalists had gone out on one inane adventure or another. With luck, her company would still be there, waiting for her, when she cared to return to it.

Until that time, she could be content to follow alongside, as Mika ran her 'errands.' Little more than going out and tagging the latest sales with later intent to stop by the grocer's, after making an off-handed comment that Tohma was eating them out of house and home. She was, in turn, chided and reminded that in the end that it was Tohma who paid for all of it, anyhow.

Not that it had or would ever really matter to either of them.

A lazy day was certainly what she needed, mindless standing around and pretending you were listening, as your 'wife' prattled on about shoes or whatever else it was that took her fancy. At which Tohma would give the predestined non-committal 'Mmn,' knowing Mika had no sense of style or fashion anyhow and wasn't intent on changing such a fact.

She was a little surprised by being dragged into the infants section of one of the larger department stores.

Mika only stood back and smiled knowingly, as Tohma stared at her surroundings, as if it had never occurred to her to even look at such things. Mika, of course, knew it hadn't. Watching the blonde reach out tentatively to let her fingers brush across such small clothing and then turn to blink at her with widened eyes, she chuckled softly.

"It hits you now, doesn't it?"

The green eyes sparkled brighter than she had seen in years, and she felt almost unprepared for the way Tohma nearly flew into her arms with a laugh, disregarding the stares of the surrounding public. "Mika-chan, Mika-chan!" came the squeal, "I'm having a baby!"

It was all Mika could do to keep laughing, as Tohma spun her around delightedly.

"Everyone -knows- that, you idiot! Everyone knows that- Now- Tohma! Tohma put me -DOWN-." If she hadn't been prepared for the hug-

She most certainly wasn't prepared for the kiss.

Lunchtime saw them sitting at a food court, surrounded by all the sordid delicacies Tohma could ever hope to ask for. In fact, just looking at most of it made Mika ill. Not to say the two of them weren't sitting on opposite sides of the same bench already, looking guilty as hell.

Mika crossed her arms and turned round to give a beady-eyed glare to Tohma, who was trying to be blissful and forget the world in her cup ramen. "You're just lucky there weren't any reporters tailing you today; can you imagine what-"

A disgruntled sound signified the death of the last of the noodles, and Tohma just rolled her eyes. "Nothing different than what they've been saying already, Mika-san. Truly, I'm beginning to think it doesn't matter anymore."

"Doesn't matter? Are you insane? And what, what is that- is that even edible? Didn't Sakano-san mention something about a diet?"

Rolling her head to the side to glare behind wisps of blond bangs, Tohma huffed lightly.

"Since when did I start listening to him, when he starts wailing on about my health?"

"He's only trying to help, Tohma. You know they all are, even Fujisaki-kun."

"Oh, please, please don't remind me."

It had been during one evening that had somehow obtained not only Ryuichi but her young cousin to visit, as well; Tohma had made the unfortunate mistake of remarking that she had a terribly severe craving for Fugu-sashi. Ryuichi, in all his divine 'I will do anything for you, Tohma-Tohma and Tohma-baby,' wisdom, had happily declared they should go and get some- Until Fujisaki had the brilliance to educate the Idiot King on what -exactly- 'Fugu' was.

The night had then escalated into a strange bought of near hysterics from Ryuichi, as he became convinced Tohma was trying to kill herself. Despite all assurances from both keyboardist and Uesugi woman.

Fujisaki tried to console the vocalist, himself, but it wasn't quite working out in his favor, as he took frequent pause to chide Tohma on her stupidity of even -thinking- of going out and getting puffer fish.

It really was quite disheartening, when you had a seventeen year old ranting at you like a parent over your poor choices.

Perhaps this was the reason Tohma now had the slightest shred of sympathy for Tatsuha, not that it was very likely this sympathy would remain for any length of time, of course.

The chaos had finally ended ,when Tohma swore on Kumagoro she would not so much as touch everything from poisons to puffer fish. And then allowed Ryuichi to make everything better because, of course, in his eyes, she was a terribly depressed shadow of a woman, hanging on to life by a last desperate thread.

No matter what the other three wanted to tell him.

"So, what are you going to do?"

The question broke her out of her reprieve, and she replied in a manner befitting someone off the street, who had just been asked how to defuse a nuclear bomb.

"...Do?"

"You've certainly taken to expressing your mastery of one-word sentences today, Tohma- love. Yes... I was asking you what you intend to do. About the baby, about Sakuma."

"Ryuichi-san?"

"Would you stop that already?" Mika nearly snapped.

"You certainly don't call him that, when the two of you are alone," Tohma flushed darkly, staring down at the floor, and her stylish boots.

"So don't keep up appearances with me. Sometimes I think you just like hearing the way it sounds falling off your tongue."

Tohma gave her an incredulous look, but Mika only grinned cheekily back at her. "Admit it. You like saying it; you don't care about honorifics at all."

Tohma said nothing.

"Come on. Say '-san.'"

She huffed. "Really, do you have to be so childish?"

"Say it."

"..."

"Oh, come on. Say it , and we'll go get some of that god-awful sushi you like so much, my treat."

Neglecting to again to point out the money's true origin, Tohma narrowed her eyes to fine points, expressing how very ridiculous she thought the entire conversation was.

"...-san."

Mika erupted into giggles, which for Mika, was a thing all into itself and not that far from being rather disturbing. Waving away Tohma's expression of hate, she broadened the sound to a laugh.

"I'm so sorry, Tohma love! You just..." She snickered. "It sounds so pretty, when you say it."

"Pretty? Wh... How in heaven's name is it that,"

"We were talking about Ryuichi."

Mika said swiftly, changing the subject with ease. As fond as Tohma was of planning things through, her tenancy to be scatterbrained was the stuff of legends. She stood and offered her hand to Tohma in turn, helping the other woman to her feet.

The two walked on for a few moments in silence, with Tohma's eyes catching each family around her with a mildly subdued curiosity.

"You look so cute like that... All wistful."

For a moment, she gave no reply, as if working something over in her mind, not quite sure if this particular secret should be shared quite yet.

"...He wants me to marry him."

Mika halted briefly in her steps but quickly caught herself and moved on again. "...And you said no?"

"I haven't given him an answer."

"Your pride will be the end of you...Why the hell not?"

Tohma said nothing, instead continuing to walk, while Mika watched her from the corner of her eye.

"You love him don't you? I thought that was obvious... You always have, that silly unrequited love you've had since about the time the two of you met, and here you've finally freed up all reservations; what's holding you back now? You love him Tohma, I know that much because you certainly don't love me."

It was Tohma's turn to halt, looking back at Mika with widened eyes.

"Mika... You know that I..."

The other woman waved her off. "It stopped being a concern of mine years ago; don't go making it into a terrible drama, now."

Slightly dumbfounded, she fell back into the conversation, neglecting to comment further, as Mika wished.

"It's just that I can't... I can't do that. I can't be expected to give up everything I've worked so very hard for, only to stay at home and play a shadow."

Mika laughed aloud with a sharp shake of her head.

"You actually think Ryuichi is going to be bogging you down with all that traditionalist crap, Tohma? The man is completely in love with America and all its psychotic systems; he wouldn't know how to play the honorable husband, if he so much as tried."

"It's not Ryuichi I have to worry about..." She whispered softly.

"I know, darling..."

"It's the world."

"Sakuma-san, Sakuma-san!"

"A comment please!"

"Seguchi-san!"

"If you would-!"

The howling of the press surrounded the two of them, as they exited the building, though it was considerably less than it had once been. Only a select few members of the media had worked up the courage to once again assault the couple with question upon question, starting out with the couple's status and quickly honing in on the state of Tohma's expanding belly.

Both had certainly prepared themselves for the resulting barrage of noise, when the masses finally realized what was going on, and Tohma couldn't so easily hide with a jacket or baggier sweaters to lessen any sort of stress such questions might incur.

Of course, the first time it dawned on the public, there had been little less than a massive outcry for celebration, well wishes, congratulations, and encouragement from all ends. But when a date for the wedding they should so obviously have wasn't given, further still Tohma, herself, remarking there were, 'No plans for a wedding at this time,' accompanied with Sakuma's rather dejected expression, they had certainly become more suspicious.

It had been little less than a scandal.

Of course, that had little to do with the questions directed at the two, today.

No, today they were being hounded over a court battle of all things. While Japan may not have been as sue-happy as other countries, such as America for example, issues had suddenly been brought into light with a screaming amount of noise.

Apparently, some of Grasper's more eccentric fans had decided to off themselves in rather creative ways, and the families found suitable blame in the hands of Nittle Grasper. Or more specifically, Tohma and Ryuichi.

So, somehow this equated to unreasonable lawsuits citing the rock stars as cause of the premature and clearly self-inflicted deaths. Of course, each case was more or less thrown from court in Grasper's favor, but the stress brought on by the idea alone was pressing on them.

While Ryuichi was usually one to be dramatic over such things, he had taken to being strangely quiet during the whole ordeal, only able to watch while Tohma's roller coaster of hormones left her wracked with unnecessary guilt.

He'd become very concerned with her well-being, going so far as to simply stay at the Seguchi house for a short time, trying to make sure Tohma would actually make an attempt to sleep, no matter how restless she might be.

However, it ended up more often than not that Ryuichi would find himself falling asleep on the music room floor as hour after hour crawled by, the house filled with the sounds of Tohma's compositions. So many new songs, songs which he could never hope to find words for, would surround him, drowning the room in emotions.

And it seemed that Tohma, herself, simply couldn't stop. Every available scrap of paper in the house had been sacrificed to serve host to jaggedly scribbled music notes. Fujisaki had been incredulous that some of the pieces could even be played, but was quickly silenced. Tohma would narrow her eyes, once again seat herself at the piano bench, and let the music spiral over the room like a whirlwind, effectively stunning the young prodigy.

Tatsuha, on one account, when he had happened to be paying a visit, remarked that the child would likely come out demanding a piano so it could practice its scales and finish its eighth symphony. Ryuichi had muttered sulkily to Kumagoro that he wasn't so happy everyone thought the Tohma-baby would play piano. What if it wanted to sing?

Tohma, herself, had only rolled her eyes, while Tatsuha, reduced to tears of pity over his 'god's' unhappiness, had spouted off some nonsense about the child's soul already singing to Tohma and that she was simply playing the music to accompany such powerful sounds.

Sakuma certainly seemed to favor this idea and had no problems with letting it settle as that, while the rest of the family simply let it go. A happier Ryuichi was a Ryuichi much more easily dealt with.

With the media once again focusing attention on the two of them, it wasn't very easy to go out and about anywhere, without at least one member of the press breathing down your neck. Therefore, visits to favorite places or family-friends were starting to decrease, but every so often called for the adventure of leaving the house, be it for work, appointment, or cake at Eiri's.

Though the visits to Eiri were only attended by Tohma, alone.

Not that he minded too much, despite whatever it was he said or his current irritability, which stemmed from the lack of cigarettes. And every so often, Shuichi would be home and willing to chatter at Tohma like a wind-up monkey, while Eiri sulked in his study, furiously clacking away at the keys.

One of these meetings in particular had given her the revelation that Eiri was quietly masking jealousy; Shuichi had whispered the author imagined he was losing Tohma.

That, of course, ended in Shuichi being kicked out of the house, after Eiri had been roaring for ten minutes about what utter bullshit that was. Tohma just stayed quietly seated on the couch, watching it all transpire.

Not twenty minutes later, Eiri was laid out on that very same couch, his head in her lap as best as he could manage with her growing figure, the two of them quietly watching a soap opera, while she ran her fingers through his hair with a light smile on her face.

The two talked without words, as they so often did, him letting her read all his insecurities and fears, while she soothed them away with gentle touches and the occasional soft hum. He was positive she never knew she was doing it of course, so he never mentioned it.

She told him in this way that she'd never be leaving him; above and beyond all else, he was still her Eiri-kun, and that would never be something anyone could change. She may not be there all the time, but he had Shuichi, now.

It was clear that despite all the instances he insisted he didn't need her anymore and he could take care of himself, he still wanted her there, always trying to protect him as best she could. He had been the center of her world for so many years, and now with her own child on the way, that was threatening to change.

No, it was changing. It would change, and he would be left behind. Forgotten.

Tohma did her best to soothe his fears, though she knew things would change between them, but there was still no chance for him to be rid of her, one way or another. It was better this way, without words to mar their thoughts and hide the honesty of otherwise hidden feelings.

"He's an idiot."

"That's what everyone says, isn't it?"

"...He's not good enough for you."

She looked down in surprise, allowing the soft smile to cross her face and set light in her eyes. "In your eyes, Eiri-kun, would anyone be?"

"No."

She called him Eiri-kun again. Her Eiri-kun, he missed that.

Never mind that she was one of the only people allowed to call him by name- hell, not even Shuichi did most of the time, but once she had gone and picked up the honorific, it was almost like a physical blow. As though the person he had once been had truly died, leaving nothing but a shell. To hear it again was a comfort, all in itself.

"Mika told me you got a letter the other day..."

The fingers threading through his hair paused, and the voice they belonged to seemed tense, a little less than irritated. "...Did she now?"

He turned his head; looking up at her through the bangs that masked the darkness he knew had crossed her features. "She said this is the third one you've received. And you refuse to call the authorities."

"It's nothing to fret over, Eiri-kun. Just a few fools who think they can intimidate me with petty words and insults. The novelty will wear out in a few days time."

"..."

"Eiri...Trust me. It's just a little intimidation. If I act now, they'll see it as a sign of weakness."

"You sound like you think the world is out to get you, Seguchi."

"Maybe it is my dear Eiri-kun." She chuckled softly, but he didn't miss the waver in the tone.

"Maybe it is."

The halls of N-G Pro had never been filled with such furious and prolific curses a muddled mix of English, Japanese, and French ringing through them, as thrown out by the terrifying voice of the Shachou. Most had never once heard her raise her voice, and those hearing it now were wishing they could still boast such a feat.

Giving no regard of course to the fact that most of the employees didn't speak much English or any French at all, they could still tell you that whatever she was saying, it wasn't good, and someone was apparently in grave danger of losing copious amounts of blood or major body parts

Woman or no, an angry Seguchi Tohma could reduce anyone to tears.

What made things worse, of course, was that not five minutes prior, she had left the building with a cheerful smile on her way out to lunch..

Shuichi was following behind her in a rapid pace; for a woman nearly six months pregnant, she sure as hell moved when she felt like doing so. Beside this, it had been his not so subtly appointed mission to keep an eye on Tohma, while she was away from watchful Uesugi eyes.

They were only concerned with her health, of course. Narrowly avoiding the door that was just about thrown open into his face, he had to wonder if they had spared any of that concern for his own.

Surprisingly, both Sakano and K had come in shortly behind him with Sakano begging that she calm down, relax, and breathe. He nearly had his head taken off at the shoulders, before Tohma had snapped up the phone, speaking so fast almost none of the rooms' occupants could understand her.

"Who..."

"The police."

Came Ryuichi's voice from the doorway, obviously not having been part of the reason for Tohma's outburst, as he was a little too calm for a man facing a death sentence. The fact that he was still alive in the first place spoke volumes.

"What the hell for?" Came K's furious English, followed seconds later for Tohma's shrieking at them to leave her office, before she throw them out herself. They did in a hurry, without argument, and a stapler following in their wake to connect solidly with the door, just as it shut.

Now convening again in the front office, Ryuichi saw fit to answer the American's outburst.

"Her car. Someone decided it would make a pretty canvas -no da-."

Again came the collective flinch. Ryuichi's inflections had lately become something to fear all on their own, used at every occasion that threatened to send any normal person into a rage. The fact that the normally eccentric man was taking things so quietly only made onlookers even more nervous than they had been to begin with.

Shuichi wasn't sure he had seen the elder vocalist take on his more childish persona in weeks.

And that was to say nothing of this revelation, echoed by Sakano's mortified whisper of "...Seguchi-san's... car?"

"Someone keyed it?"

That car.

It wasn't as sporty as some, but everyone knew that the car was little less than Tohma's pride. Not so much in appearance on the outside but modified to her specifications within, leaving it as something most speed fanatics would fantasize about.

Some would have figured it for a child all to itself, the way she damn near doted on the thing. To have anything happen to that precious vehicle... Someone certainly had an awkward way to commit suicide.

It was sure that if Tohma ever managed to be arrested for anything, chances were that the situation involved her car.

That it had been so viciously attacked, with no way to defend itself, there was little wonder Tohma was spitting mad and could still be heard shouting on the other side of the door, as she saw fit to file a report with the local law enforcement. You truly had to pity those social servants on this day.

Ryuichi had settled himself to sit cross-legged on the floor, producing Kumagoro from just about nowhere, quietly petting the rabbit's ears...

"Manager-san?" Both K and Sakano turned their heads, almost instinctively.

"...Could you order some pizza? I don't think Tohma-kun is going to want to go out to eat after this…"

It took about ten minutes after the furious ranting finally came to a stop, before anyone was brave enough to venture inside Tohma's office again.

Of course, the only man amongst them with the balls to face Tohma...

Was Shuichi.

With the prospect of junk food given and a few encouraging words, the doors were opened to signify that the female had indeed been placated and would not be making a meal out of the males that surrounded her.

Shuichi did give a rather irritated glare in the direction of his fellow idiots, however, and Ryuichi at least had the decency to look ashamed.

With K soon retreating to look for any and all clues to this most vile of acts and Sakano fussing over Tohma like a mother hen, the three stars were left in relative peace to attend to the glorious food known as pizza.

Few words were afforded them, which instead allowed Tohma to simmer in her silent anger, which they felt was safer for all of those involved...

Then again, Shuichi had never been known for his records of silence.

"Why would someone do this? Everything...it's... It makes no sense. Why do people want to hurt you Seguchi-san; why can't they just leave things alone?"

Tohma raised her eyes towards the boy, allowing him a slight smile.

"Because they can't accept change. It doesn't matter what you do. In the end, you aren't important. One person disrupting the supposedly flawless way things are done- why tolerate what you can so easily conform?"

She laughed, while Ryuichi was content to focus on Kumagoro even further, stewing in his own silent thoughts.

"They think they can intimidate me into stepping down from the company I made, shutter me up in some home and take away everything I've worked so hard for,"

"Shachou..." Sakano interjected softly, "You made this company on a whim… You did hardly any work to make it excel at all."

Blinking in surprise, the two singers stared at the studio president, who in turn stared at Sakano, incredulously.

"Yes, but that's not the -point- of the matter, Sakano-san; it's the principle of the thing."

"I won't just be pushed around like some helpless woman. They'll learn Seguchi Tohma isn't to be bested."

"We should take a vacation..."

The voice came so soft that almost no one heard it, until Tohma's eyes narrowed slightly as they settled onto Ryuichi. "...What?"

"...We could take a vacation, Tohma-kun. Go to America, to my place in L.A. New York is too cold and full of bad memories."

She scowled softly with a shake of her head.

"A few idiots who think they can write colorful threats and scare me by destroying my car aren't about to send me running from the country, Ryuichi-san. No. They've only succeeded in doing one thing. They've pissed me off."

"I wish the two of you would get your heads out of the ditch and get your asses in gear."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Beg all you like, but if you weren't pregnant, I'd have slapped the stupid right out of you. He's all hung up over this, you know- what are you really doing, Tohma? He wants to be a part of this."

"He -is- a part of this, Noriko! I've tried to include Ryuichi in everything; you know that as well as anyone..."

"Tohma. You're an idiot. You didn't even tell the poor bastard you were pregnant for FOUR MONTHS. Hell, you didn't tell ANY of us, which I will still never forgive you for."

"I know, you continue to remind me. How does it go? 'Never forgive you for the rest of my days, return to haunt you life after life, never will you flee my impending wrath.'?"

"Oh-ho, you're such a funny bitch."

"I do try, Nori."

"It's just this thing with the two of you- I don't get it. You're a perfectly good couple. Ryuichi wants to be a father, not 'that guy that sleeps in Mom's bed and hangs around all the time.' Do you know how lucky you are? And it's Ryu-chan. He's just about the King of Idiots. You're perfect for one another."

The expression directed at this was clearly exasperated, even as Tohma blew blonde bangs away from her eyes. "Why -thank- you, Nori-chan."

The other woman made some sort of sound in the back of her throat and gave a remark to her incredible grasp of sarcasm, as they both returned to watching the children across from them in the park. Saki was desperately trying to convince Michael and Rikun that it would be a grand idea to stop staring at bugs and push her princess-self on the swings.

The boys didn't seem to be buying it.

"At least I'm dating a man my own age."

The violet pigtails whipped around and Noriko feigned hurt.

"OH! Such words wound me, Tohma-kun! But you know, with age comes wisdom... and at least I didn't wait until I was an old hag to go out and -find- a man to be dating."

When Tohma only glared at her, she offered a light smile.

"Oh come on. Look at me now. Damn near a daycare center for -your- employees."

"But your husband is a lunatic, Nori... And no man in their right mind could ever-"

"IDIOT!"

Tohma let out a yelp as Noriko finally refused to hold back, smacking her upside the back of her head.

"Don't you GET it? Ryu-chan is putty. He's willing to do anything for you- he ALWAYS was. He's still your best friend, Tohma, and he's been pining after you for years. Why do you -think- he let K take him off to America -directly- after your wedding?"

She said nothing, as if the thought had only dawned on her in that moment. Reality seemed to be coming up to bite her in the ass quite frequently as of late.

"For the love of the gods, Tohma... Nothing has changed between you,m not really. You've just come out from behind your shell, and the two of you started screwing like rabbits; it's not a big deal. Every last one of us thought you'd been doing it for years, already… It's just that now you'll produce little Tohma-Ryu spawns, and the world as we know it will be doomed."

This earned Nori a blank stare and a slow shake of Tohma's head.

"You...Your logistics are all messed up, Nori-chan. I think your husband is getting to you."

Throwing her head back and bringing a hand up to her mouth, Noriko laughed high and long, sending any child that didn't know her personally running back to their own mothers.

Tohma just shook her head again, while across the playground, the boys were pointing out all the useful aspects of bugs to a little princess known as Ukai Saki.

"...Wait a minute... Why -are- you watching the boys today, anyhow?"

"Nn? Oh. Some sort of meeting or something their parents had to attend. Besides, you know, since he came to live with K, Michael and Riku are practically a package deal."

Some sort of meeting or something indeed.

On the other side of town, sitting in a restaurant and looking about as inconspicuous as two dozen men in identical immaculate black suits and sunglasses was a collection of people set on quietly planning the future of Seguchi Tohma.

Several of them were sporting tacky caps and sunglasses, while the Gaijin amongst them looked highly suspicious all on his own; the Uesugi siblings just appeared irritated. Yoshiki was pouring over the menu in curiosity, completely oblivious to the pink bunny who sat across from her.

Behind this bunny, Ryuichi set down his water with a slight 'clack' against the table.

"You've all been called here because of your selection for a dangerous mission. Kuma-chan would like me to remind you that the contents of this meeting are confidential, and should any of you be found leaking information, our American carries an assault rifle."

"Would you just get ON with it?"

Shuichi gave a slight jump when Eiri's voice cut across the table and sank a little lower into his seat. Hiro shot a glare in the author's direction, while Yoshiki consulted Suguru on his opinion of the lemon and garlic-chicken broccoli.

Mika just gave an agitated sigh and chose to take things into her own more capable hands.

"Sakuma-san and I have... come to a sort of agreement. We both think it would be in her best interest, if we could arrange to have,"

"Tohma-stalking!"

The looks of surprise around the table made Ryuichi shrink down again, laughing nervously as K shook his head with a low chuckle.

"What Ms.Uesugi... Ah, Mrs. Seguchi..."

He blinked at Mika, who just smiled at him from behind her glass of merlot.

"What she and Ryuichi mean is they would like to organize a way for all of us to keep an eye on Seguchi, without her knowledge, of course..."

"Because she'd kill us dead." 'Kumagoro' piped up helpfully.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Sakuma-san...? I mean... it... isn't that a little... Well, a little much?"

Eiri only scowled as Mika waved her hand.

"Nonsense. We don't want you to follow her. Just make sure that wherever she's going, someone is there, by chance. Don't make her suspicious; just make sure she's safe."

"This is bullshit. You know Seguchi is going to hate this."

Eyes turned again to the author, all but growling his words.

"You all act like she needs your protection, like she can't handle herself. Six months ago, you wouldn't dare suggest something like this, and now you all act like she needs a babysitter. "

He stood abruptly, pushing his chair back.

"And even you, Mika, should know better than anyone. Fuck this. If you think she needs watching, ask her to accept it. Don't sneak around behind her back like she can't make a capable decision. If you want to play your silly games, go ahead. It looks like the only one aside from me with any sense in his head is her neurotic manager."

"At least he talks to -her- about what he thinks needs to be done."

He took his coat from the back of the chair, and turned around.

"Count me out. Brat, I'm going home. When you've satisfied your need to be a dumb ass, you can join me. I'll leave the door unlocked."

And without further word, he stalked off, a scowl still set onto his face, leaving the rest of the group to plan what he considered a personal insult.

It would be over the course of the next few days that it seemed wherever Tohma turned, someone was waiting for her, offering t get her this or that asking about her health. Offers for lunch, requests for rides home, spontaneous phone calls. One after the other, they came at such a pace that her head began to spin.

Eiri couldn't come to get him; Hiro's bike was in the shop; Fujisaki asked her to come by and assist him with a particular segment of Shining Collection which troubled him. Yoshiki wanted her to drop by Zuru and check out the new shipment of designer wear they'd just received. K had to stop and give minute by minute reports on Bad Luck, and Hiro had to invite her to dinner nearly twelve times.

It was about the time Shuichi started looking guilty that it dawned on her, and with the fury of a typhoon, Tohma came down on each and every one of them, signifying her capability and disbelief that any of them could think so little of her. Ryuichi had been effectively booted from the studio, and all present could attest that he would -certainly- be sleeping in his own bed for the next few nights.

They scattered like mice, when she finally put her foot down, and for the first time this week, she felt able to get her work done. Unfortunately, it had been rather difficult to find a shop willing to perform the necessary detailing on her car, and when she finally had, they'd found her particular model's paint on back order.

Not that she didn't appreciate Mika's little sporty car of candy apple red, but Mika had taken off to go to Kyoto this morning, so she could attempt to plead forgiveness with her father.

Tatsuha had insisted he was ready to kill himself, if the old man didn't stop his wailing about being moments from death.

It hardly mattered, having to walk the distance home; a bit of exercise would do her some good. Not that she'd been lazy, of course; she just hadn't been doing quite as much as she was used to.

With no one to press her or offer help, she was able to once again keep her schedule of long hours, only now realizing how much Ryuichi had changed things in her life. She actually managed to go home these days, instead of merely dozing off in her office chair or clocking out at about three in the morning.

Good for health, bad for business.

Three a.m. of course, glared abrasively back at her from the clock. This and the growing distraction that saw fit to tell her she'd neglected to pause for dinner, as time had gone by so very quickly. Surely there was something back home that could satisfy the obvious hunger.

Finishing up the last bit of paperwork to be done, flipping out the lights as she left, and footsteps echoing her retreat, she paused only to assure herself the studio was securely locked and all alarms set.

A cool evening greeted her as she began her trip home, feeling no need to hurry herself.

The city was surprisingly quiet, or perhaps it was always this way in this particular area, simply going unnoticed due to the surrounding sounds of a vehicle.

Humming softly to herself, concern wavered to what exactly she'd have to work up for herself that evening. She wasn't quite willing to make a feast and didn't quite have anything particular in mind. She also had to remind herself to buy some shoes that didn't have such voraciously high heels. These were damn near ready to kill her.

Traffic lights changed for no one, and she considered perhaps dropping in to see Eiri unannounced. It wasn't such a distance from where she was now, nearing an all-night convenience store. More sushi tugged briefly at her mind, only to be shot down just as quickly, mostly as she was sub-consciously threatened with betrayal, if she forced her stomach to take in anymore of the wretched stuff.

Briefly wondering if her child would turn out to be every bit as critical of her choice of cuisine as everyone else, she consented that something hot would do much better for tonight, at the very least.

So engaged in her own thoughts, she almost didn't see the other late night patron before she damn near walked into him.

Apologizing softly with a slight bow, she took a step back and quietly chided herself for being so easily distracted. It wasn't like her to run into stationary objects; that was more Ryuichi's style. Another apology, and she turned to go around him.

Wait... stationary? She blinked, as it was no longer so, and once again she was directly in front of him. Laughing gently, she shook her head with another apology and stepped the other way, which he mirrored again.

It must have looked rather comical but was easy enough to understand.

"Ah, Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry... I'll go left, now, then."

Moving around to give him plenty of space, she only stopped when she felt something tight around her arm. Turning her head slowly to look over her shoulder from behind her bangs with eyes narrowed sharply, her voice lost all humor.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

Her feet almost lost bearing, as she was yanked backward and turned around to face him, her other arm becoming entrapped as well. She met his eyes, returning the heated glare that was set at her.

"May I help you -sir-?" She asked again, not masking the acid in her tone. But not a word was offered in reply; he just continued to scowl.

The pressure over her arms started to increase, and she wondered for a brief moment who this man was or what specific qualm he had with her. If he wanted her to stand there and quake like a frightened mouse, he was sadly mistaken. She startled slightly, when he gave her a hard shake, her own hands grasping at his arms in attempts to stabilize herself.

Movement stopped abruptly at the sound of the door chimes a few feet away, and while her head spun ,she tried to refocus the glare set at him, before a familiar voice cut through the air.

"Is there a problem here?"

A glance over the man's shoulders brought the welcome face with eyes of a darkened amber, set in that pensive stare that reduced people to a quivering mess. The hands that threatened to bruise flesh let go quickly, and a muttered, "No, of course not," was all to be heard before the retreating steps of the stranger carried across to them.

Her head tilted down, she chuckled softly, letting her arms hang at her sides, refusing to indicate any sign of frailty by trying to rub the feeling back into them.

"...You too, Eiri-kun?"

He snorted. "Follow you, Seguchi? Fuck no. I'm just out to get cigarettes," accented when he held up the bag and carton, giving it a shake.

"But since you -are- standing around like an idiot, freezing your ass off here... You wanna ride back to your place?"

"…At this point, Eiri-kun," She whispered back, grateful that finally someone, even in a moment of weakness, did not view her as genuinely needing help.

"I think I'd love one."

Eiri was driving surprisingly slow this evening. She had to hide a smile, knowing full well the only reason he was being so cautious was because of the passenger(s) who was currently under his care. Only mildly surprised when he followed her into the house, she just about dropped the tea kettle, when she overheard him on his cell, telling his 'Brat' that he'd be home tomorrow morning.

Standing in the doorway now, she gave him an incredulous look, which he played off with an unusual smile. "Would you really turn me away Oni-san?"

"Get in here and help me make something to eat, before I throw something at you, Eiri-kun. You know it's not fair of you to play that card with me."

She smiled at him in return, as he tried to play off his innocence, complying without any sort of further argument.

Up to early morning saw them curled up on the sofa, heavily engrossed in yet another painfully dramatic romance movie, while fighting the urge for sleep. Eiri rested against her shoulder, while she draped her arm loosely around him.

"So, you kicked Sakuma out?"

"Do we need to discuss this now, Eiri-kun?"

"Seguchi... this movie is worse than the garbage I write, and you've seen it at least a dozen times before..." He raised his head to narrow his eyes a little. "They may be idiots, but they were trying to help you. Just remember that..."

She glanced down at him, raising a brow, "Why, Eiri...Are you speaking on someone else's behalf? Asking me to forgive them?"

"He's an idiot Tohma, but he's worried about you… And he has reason to be..."

Sitting up, he gave a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"You're right. The world -is- against you... In their eyes, everything has changed. It doesn't matter what you've done, how capable you were. Now they have the expectation for you to leave your company and go home to be a wife to the father of your child. You can't change that…"

He dropped his head with a sigh, voice lowering.

"No matter how wrong it might be."

"After tonight, can't you see some sort of merit to their worries?"

She shook her head slowly, watching his face, easily catching the concern he didn't bother to mask in his voice "...Eiri-kun..?"

"What if I hadn't been there? What if I -hadn't- been out, tonight? How many letters, Tohma; how many threats will it take for you to ask for help...?"

Lowering her eyes again, she found that for this, not even she had the answer.

Not an hour later, he would have once again picked up his phone, watching her sleep as peacefully as one could in such a position on a sofa.

"Sakuma? Yeah. There's something I think you need to know..."

The day had started out wonderfully; Eiri had taken her to get her car from the shop, and little incident occurred.

Until, of course, she had laid her eyes on the shattered glass windows on the first floor. Sakano had already set to work, arranging to have them repaired, but the very idea that her precious studio had been attacked set her cheerful mood into a downward spiral.

She'd snapped at both Shuichi and Hiro for greeting her, completely ignored Fujisaki's very existence, and spent the day brooding in her office. Calls went unanswered, and Ryuichi's eventual arrival was waved off with less acknowledgment than the singer had ever received before in his life.

At least, until he decided they needed to have a 'chat' on her way home about what exactly she needed to be doing with her life. Which went over about as well as it usually did.

"I don't want to argue with you anymore!"

"Then -don't-! I've told you, my mind is made up. I don't go back on my word, Ryuichi."

"Tohma, this isn't a game. It's not a business deal; you're in -danger-."

"I'm in no such thing!"

"Yuki-san told me about the other night..."

She stopped dead in her tracks, keeping her eyes forward, as her shoulders tensed.

"...Eiri-kun told you about that?"

Her whisper was a ghost in the hall, as Ryuichi nodded sharply.

"He did."

Snarling, she moved forward, almost storming down the remaining hall. She couldn't believe it. The whole damn world, and now her Eiri, too. It didn't matter that he was concerned for her safety; he could have simply let it go. She promised him she would be more careful, let the others look after her.

She'd even offered to take a few days from work to relax, let things calm down. But they couldn't accept just that. No, instead they had to make her feel like a fool. Instead, he had to go and tell Ryuichi, who again brought up the idea of a 'vacation,' a retreat from Tokyo.

A vacation to another goddamn country.

"Dammit, Tohma!"

Ryuichi was behind her, his shoes hitting heavily on the carpeted hall, and soon enough across the asphalt of the parking lot of N-G's garage.

"Tohma, STOP this. Stop it; it's just stubbornness. Just come with me to L.A. I promise we'll come back- please, just until the baby's born. Tohma, -Tohma!-"

She whirled around, eyes near blazing as she just about shook with her fury.

"NO. I told you. This is my home. Japan, Tokyo. I will –NOT- be shipped off AGAIN like -trash- just because I'm an inconvenience to the men in my life!"

"Get down off your soapbox, Tohma! This isn't about anyone sending you away; this is about you being SAFE. Our -family- being safe."

"Who ever said -anything- about this being -our- family!"

Ryuichi stopped less than a foot in front of her, the hurt clearly visible in his eyes. Her features softened, and she shook her head slowly. "Oh, Ryuichi..."

She reached out, gently tracing her fingertips over the side of his face. "Ryuichi... You know I didn't mean that..."

"Tohma, why? Why can't you just come with me? Why do you have to stay here...?"

She laughed softly, fishing the keys out of her pocket.

"Ryuichi-san. The day I'm forced to leave Tokyo is the day I'll be knocked dead."

Reaching out towards her newly detailed car, she hit the key, unlocking it with an echoed beep and turned back to him with a warm smile.

"So don't worry, mm?"

He had no idea what possessed him to reach out to her, closing the distance between them as she collided firmly with his chest; just why he held her so tightly, one hand over the back of her head, the other around her waist, face buried in her hair and eyes clenched shut. No idea why the world seemed to warp, twisting itself into a scene so unreal it never truly reached his eyes.

All he knew in that moment was the sound of her scream, as it pierced his ears alongside his own, so easily drowned out by the simultaneous and sudden sound of a hundred shattering windows, twisting metal, and blaring alarms.

His hands felt sticky and wet, the ground now far too warm, seemed to be covered in glittering shards of glass and shrapnel, while even more continued to rain down. The roar of the fire drowned out anything to be said, as the woman cradled in his arms slowly raised her head, a weak smile still set across her lips.

He had no idea it had been a noise so loud it shook the very ground, was never aware of the sudden searing heat and bright orange glow of the explosion that engulfed them both.

The last thing he would ever see was her smile.


End file.
